Friday, February 11, 2011
the Husband song!!!!!
this is dedicate to my future husband who showed me this song and we laughed.
remember LAUGH! it helps.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Clothes out of the dryer...
Being relegated to role of caretaker due to illness is a big job. I am tired, really tired and it will be an early night, Like right after this post.....
so I am getting laundry done (well actually CT is doing the stairs, and loading and unload and helping me put them away. My clothes are bigger than most. and it takes 4 loads to do a minimum of laundry so that I Have clean ones...:P
so He brings up my clothes, and they are hot from the dryer... AWWWWWW! hot clean clothes!
One of my most favorite things, EVER. I am very spoiled, and I remember that I am loved.
My grandmother smelled like Downey fabric softener, brandy, cigarettes, and white ginger perfume.
Laundry was a magic thing, pop in dirty wet clothes and you get hot clean one back.
one of my favorite past times, is watch the dryer go round and round at the laundry mat.
better than TV.
so here are to the days where hot clothes come out of the dryer, remembering my grandmother who I miss most of all.
so I am getting laundry done (well actually CT is doing the stairs, and loading and unload and helping me put them away. My clothes are bigger than most. and it takes 4 loads to do a minimum of laundry so that I Have clean ones...:P
so He brings up my clothes, and they are hot from the dryer... AWWWWWW! hot clean clothes!
One of my most favorite things, EVER. I am very spoiled, and I remember that I am loved.
My grandmother smelled like Downey fabric softener, brandy, cigarettes, and white ginger perfume.
Laundry was a magic thing, pop in dirty wet clothes and you get hot clean one back.
one of my favorite past times, is watch the dryer go round and round at the laundry mat.
better than TV.
so here are to the days where hot clothes come out of the dryer, remembering my grandmother who I miss most of all.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
of Piñatas and other shiny things...
it is Happy I love you day, here at home. My other half is sick in bed, and I am in the role of caretaker, of both of us. fortunately we tend to get sick in opposite of each other. and I have really great friends, (thanks CT and Zanna) I don't know how I would do this without you!
Everyday is Happy I love you day, since he asked me to marry him.
I am bone tired, and almost over my stuff. my stomach is still hands off bets at thus point. I am living on liquids and soft food as I have for the last four months. the weight is really coming off. which is great. I had blood work done last week, and it showed up great, everything normal.
I think the cutting down on medicine, and just my chronic( and unbearable) pain and illness have just caught up to me.
I am worried about my liver. My mother liver is failing and it is a death sentence for her.
Some one hit my relationship (or lack of) with my mother up so well yesterday.
My mother didn't want kids, she wanted SLAVES.
it isn't about me, I never actually figured into the picture, except for what I could do for her. it is all about her, always has been. Just a undeniable factoid of life.
I love her, I just can't be anywhere near her, My father is just the same way. they aren't bad people. it is far to dangerous to me to let these people in my life, or to have anything to do with them. this kinda stuff get in the back of my brain and sits there and eats at me in the quiet place in my mind, the lonely little space in the dark where I am small.
J and I have been talking as we often do... he says that I am like a Piñata.
this hard shell, covering the prize that is ME. who I really am and was.
I asked him how he could love someone like me... I always thought that he saved me from myself. he clarified that he saved me from my life and what it took to deal with it. there was this hard shell that I had built around myself to protect me, and it just kept getting thicker as a form of self protection. What he saw was under the shell, and who I really was. he is first and foremost my friend, my first one, and for along time my only friend.
God knows I wasn't. I am still working on that and it keeps getting better.
This is who I am.
it has been hard to write lately, I get distracted and I am all over the place. I am like a squirrel on crack who mentally shit it's self, nice picture huh?
Have you every mentally shit yourself?
I do all the time and it is a hard thing to clean up.
Duran Duran has there new album out, as you may or may not know how much I love there music ALLOT!!! there first single is All You Need Is Now. it is a fun song about staying in the moment. It is something that I try to do, staying in the moment. I have spent too much of my life living in the past. I am tired and beat up as fuck.
The point of power is in the present moment. that is by far one of my favourite sayings. it is one of life's truisms, painfully so.
so here is to now, and my life that I have worked so hard for, and all the love I have.
Thanks for reading!
Everyday is Happy I love you day, since he asked me to marry him.
I am bone tired, and almost over my stuff. my stomach is still hands off bets at thus point. I am living on liquids and soft food as I have for the last four months. the weight is really coming off. which is great. I had blood work done last week, and it showed up great, everything normal.
I think the cutting down on medicine, and just my chronic( and unbearable) pain and illness have just caught up to me.
I am worried about my liver. My mother liver is failing and it is a death sentence for her.
Some one hit my relationship (or lack of) with my mother up so well yesterday.
My mother didn't want kids, she wanted SLAVES.
it isn't about me, I never actually figured into the picture, except for what I could do for her. it is all about her, always has been. Just a undeniable factoid of life.
I love her, I just can't be anywhere near her, My father is just the same way. they aren't bad people. it is far to dangerous to me to let these people in my life, or to have anything to do with them. this kinda stuff get in the back of my brain and sits there and eats at me in the quiet place in my mind, the lonely little space in the dark where I am small.
J and I have been talking as we often do... he says that I am like a Piñata.
this hard shell, covering the prize that is ME. who I really am and was.
I asked him how he could love someone like me... I always thought that he saved me from myself. he clarified that he saved me from my life and what it took to deal with it. there was this hard shell that I had built around myself to protect me, and it just kept getting thicker as a form of self protection. What he saw was under the shell, and who I really was. he is first and foremost my friend, my first one, and for along time my only friend.
God knows I wasn't. I am still working on that and it keeps getting better.
This is who I am.
it has been hard to write lately, I get distracted and I am all over the place. I am like a squirrel on crack who mentally shit it's self, nice picture huh?
Have you every mentally shit yourself?
I do all the time and it is a hard thing to clean up.
Duran Duran has there new album out, as you may or may not know how much I love there music ALLOT!!! there first single is All You Need Is Now. it is a fun song about staying in the moment. It is something that I try to do, staying in the moment. I have spent too much of my life living in the past. I am tired and beat up as fuck.
The point of power is in the present moment. that is by far one of my favourite sayings. it is one of life's truisms, painfully so.
so here is to now, and my life that I have worked so hard for, and all the love I have.
Thanks for reading!
Monday, February 7, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
things...
hey all, allot has happened lately, all good.
the lawsuit settled, and everything worked out. we were in a car accident in 2007, due to medical bills the other party was sued. the bills got paid, and I didn't go to court (YEAH). My Dr's didn't back me up, but it went well, and the big things is I don't owe anyone anything.
My other half had his 56th bday, and he asked me to marry him. I said yes, the wedding will be sometime this summer. wow!
I have lost 54 lbs since November, part of it cause I was sick the rest cause I am eating better, and moving more.
so that is that, hope you all are having as much fun as I am. Love ya1!
the lawsuit settled, and everything worked out. we were in a car accident in 2007, due to medical bills the other party was sued. the bills got paid, and I didn't go to court (YEAH). My Dr's didn't back me up, but it went well, and the big things is I don't owe anyone anything.
My other half had his 56th bday, and he asked me to marry him. I said yes, the wedding will be sometime this summer. wow!
I have lost 54 lbs since November, part of it cause I was sick the rest cause I am eating better, and moving more.
so that is that, hope you all are having as much fun as I am. Love ya1!
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Duran Duran: The Man Who Stole A Leopard
Do you know where we are?
I'm longing for the dark
Of our nocturnal life
It begins and ends with you
Don't spill my secret
Chorus:
you were once running wild
hiding in the morning mist
game demands I make you mine
I thought that I could resist but the leopard in you silently preyed on me
I made my way back home (did you follow her)
I handled her with care (quiet and controlled)
So elegant and sleek (when I'm not afraid)
I need her to be near (does she belong to you?)
Don't spill my secret
Deserted by my friends (don't they understand?)
she's so much more than them (how could they compare?)
so now she's just for me (no one else can see)
I watch her while she sleeps (be sure she dreams of you)
don't spill my secret
(It's been quite a while) since we were last outside
(and do you miss the chase?) now that we've both been tamed
(inside this gilded cage) prisoners of our thoughts
(you saved me from myself) don't spill my secret
Don't spill my secret
(Repeat during newscast)...
Newscast:
"Today a man was taken from his apartment on the New Jersey shore and arrested
Under suspicion of entrapment of a wild animal. Police, after forced entry,
Discovered a caged leopard in the building! The fully grown feline was said
To be surprisingly domesticated.? before preparing her for relocation.
A large crowd is gathered outside to watch the beautiful creature as a giant
Cage was lowered slowly onto the street by a crane. From here, the leopard
Was transferred into the back of a truck for the journey ahead. A thoughtful
Onlooker said it's extraordinary to think that any human being could have
Lived so?silently? with such a dangerous animal. Police are saying the captive has simply befriended? the creature and barely left her side. It's alleged that he hunted her in the wild and expertly forged documents to facilitate her illegal export to the United States of America.
The incident has already created much controversy and is now likely to lead to a major international investigation into the life of the man who stole a leopard."
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