Classic Quotes by Homer Simpson (1955- ) Power plant worker, astronaut, grease collections/sales, mayoral bodyguard, sports mascot, sanitation commissioner, et. al.
When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
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When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.
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I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.
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I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.
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How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
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Operator! Give me the number for 911!
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Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel.
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Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening.
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Maybe, just once, someone will call me "sir" without adding, "you're making a scene."
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Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. This bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this guy.
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