my Happy award!

Thanks to AV of http://netherregionoftheearthii.blogspot.com (among other blogs) and he gave me an award. thank you very much AV.

1. Link to where the award came from. Check.

2. Make a Happy List of 10 things that make me happy.

3. Share the award with 10 fellow bloggers.

So, here goes...

Happy List:
1.Pixie Hollow, it is an on-line game and I get to be a fairy and play with TinkerBell.

2.clean clothes, makes me very happy. as a child living with my mother I had to wash all of my clothes By hand. my mother spent all of the money on her. so my clothes would not be dry as I walked to school in the winter. I stunk. except when my father took us for a couple of weeks here and there, first thing he would do is make us strip and take a shower and put on clean clothes. clean clothes mean that I have money and I don't stink. I love laundromats, watching the dryer is better than TV. One day I will own my own washer and dryer.(I also have nice clothes that fit and are in great shape)

3.food, also my worst enemy. when My father had us showered he would then feed us. it was the first real food we had sometimes in weeks(other than what school provided, and half of mine went to my younger brother). we got to have fruit and good things, not spoiled and raw things that would make you sick at the dinner table, cause if ya vomited you had to eat the vomit with my mom.

4.a safe place to live, I have never had one before. the rent is always paid. I have a real bed, and heat, my own things, nothing is taken away from me. and no one hurts me, or beats me.

5.My other half J. he loves me and has never hurt me. (he has in normal ways (but he has never beat or raped me,) and I don't want for anything.)
when I hug him I know that I won't be tortured, or mistreated. he always has something good to say about me, how special I am and how much he loves me, and how wonderful I am and that I am his inspiration.

6.my sobriety I had 5 years on January 9th 2010. I no longer drink, smoke or shoot drugs.

7. My blog and my friends here on-line and in my life outside the computer. they are THE BEST!

8.My gym membership. I get to go and swim, I love the water, and since I am as big as an(every increasingly smaller)whale I have the best time.

9.My honour. it is a gift I have given myself ( if you are not familiar with the movie "ROB ROY" I suggest you see it)

10.My life!~ I have one, and since I am past my expiration date, my time is mine.
I was supposed to be dead. my kidneys failed in June/July of 2005 when I had about 6 months sober.
My doctor told me "to make my funeral plans, as I had less than 3 months to live and that I would not live to see snow on the mountains (i.e. October). I got pissed off! I hadn't just gotten sober just to die. that is when I came home and told J. that I was going to die. he told me that I could go out a pain in the ass, or I could be a joy for what time I had left. he then went to his place and cried. I had allot of soul searching to do. I did. I figured that we all get what we get. and that I was damn luck to have any more days after the life I had lived, I had only made it that far on sheer will, with everything against me from the beginning.
it hasn't been easy or fun, and sometimes I want to die. then I pull my head out of my ass, wipe the shit out of my eyes, and keep going.
I have so much and I have given it to myself, only I can ruin it. it is not the problems,~ it is how you handle them that matters.

and a bonus couple due to the dark nature of this post, this blog isn't all glitter and fun, it is about me.

11. My crafts. I can do just about anything I try, I can cook and make people swoon with my cooking, I am smart and funny, and a great friend, and gosh darn it people love me. I am also losing weight (it has slowed down as the dr.'s are taking me off meds and I am so sick lately with withdraws) I am a quick learner. I don't always get jokes,~ more often that not they have to be explained to me....

so here are my ten bloggers

King Ass @http://cookingforassholes.blogspot.com cooking for assholes, great food simplified, need I say more?

Grgg @ http://novowelsplease.blogspot.com Grgg is very funny and smart and I love his blog! he named his cat sphincter.

Jesse @ http://theartofjesse.blogspot.com Jesse is a great guy and an awesome artist. he is in the middle of awesome masks.

Beth @ http://upstateoddities.blogspot.com Beth is a great smart funny woman that I love to death and sent me a Tijuana bible for Christmas among other things.

Friend @ http://wearefrens.blogspot.com 15 yr old Malaysian guy with a great head on his shoulders.

Julian @ http://hopelessbeliever.blogspot.com Julian is Jesse's other half a sweety in her own right and a great artist.

Michael @ http://doyouhateittoo.blogspot.com Michael is very funny and make allot of sense.

Jude @ http://dreamyfishart.blogspot.com Jude is new to me and paints great fish, she has a butter-fish painting that I would eat given half a chance.

Mike @ http://michaelkaser.blogspot.com Mike is a great writer, he also goes by Innocent Owner of Mad Cats. he puts reindeer ears on his cats.

Lexi @ http://heartsomeone.blogspot.com she is RobotNine's very creative daughter, check out her blog!

Sorry I updated all of my choices, forgot last night was too brain dead.

have fun Love and fishey fishes,
Adorabibble!