things..

are not well in my world.
this is my best time of year and I am very unhappy.
between medical stuff (DON'T EVER GET SICK)
(when have I been well?)
(or pain free)
and life in general, I am just not having fun.

I am sick of this and being such a downer all the time.
(I don't want sympathy)
it is what it is.

so I don't blog and put it out there.
(if I'm sick of it? so are you?)
but with nothing positive to say it leaves for only silence.

I don't get it inside my head.
(silence)
I don't get it from my other half, that is another story.
(SILENCE)
and I sure as shit don't want to talk about all of the crap in there.

I can't kill myself and I can't get arrested.
(I tried this weekend to get arrested, didn't work)
so I have to live...
WTF!!!

and despite all I am doing to the contrary I am making progress.
(why)