.........~!

I am in a foul mood. I can see it, like I am outside of myself. I can see what I am doing wrong saying etc, I just don't care.
I am caught up in the game, and letting other people have my power, walking around pissed off.
and ya know what they don't care and those that do I am burning my bridges with.
I am working to participate with out being pissy... GOOD LUCK WITH THAT!!!
what next?
I have been in the house to long, dealing with all the crap. I need to be out in the summer enjoying it.
And I don't want to leave the house.
I used to care.
My face hurts so bad, on both sides now.
I saw the acupuncturist Tuesday.
Did it really help? I don't think so and at what I am paying I just can't afford it, but with the doctors with no answers I have no choice.
I had an appetite for all of five minutes and now it is gone replaced by a plastic taste in my mouth...
Pain, this kind of pain, makes my life a bother.
I don't know how I will continue, if I don't give a shit.
My life has been reduced to pain and black foulness...
People try to hold a conversation with me and it is like talking to a zombie.
oh well, either I will make it or I won't.
I just don't feel like I have much more in me.