Wednesday, June 30, 2010

welcome to Heli

nice to know ya, have fun!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The photo pretty much wraps it up...

It's been a rough week so far but I have made it- How about you???

Police say that the gang usually is comprised
of four

members, one adult and three younger ones.

While the three younger ones, all appearing
sweet and innocent,

divert their 'mark' (or intended target)

a show of friendliness , the fourth
-- the eldest -- sneaks in from

behind the person's back to expertly

rifle through his or her pocket or purse
for any


Be on the alert!! Scroll
down to see photo of how it


This is being called the AFLAC Scam

welcome to morteza

yeah!!!!!! a new follower, please make yourself at home! have fun and we will see what happens from here!


click to enlarge if ya need to.

where does the time go?

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Oh dear oh dear what are we going to do with me?

god whatever it is don't do that to me.

Saturday, June 26, 2010


Tired of constantly being broke &

stuck in an unhappy marriage,

a young husband decided to solve both problems

by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife
with himself as the beneficiary,

and then arranging to have her killed.

A 'friend of a friend'
put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure

who went by the name of 'Artie.'

Artie explained to the husband that his going price for
snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount,

but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money.

Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front,

so the man opened his wallet,

displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside.
Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed

to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later,

Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super Wal-Mart store.

There, he surprised her in the produce department &

proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands.

As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath &

slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce
department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene.

Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind,

ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.

However, unknown to Artie,

the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security
cameras & observed by the store's security guard,

who immediately called the police.

Artie was caught and arrested

before he could even leave the store.

Under intense questioning at the police station,

Artie revealed the whole sordid plan,
including his unusual financial arrangements

with the hapless husband
who was also quickly arrested.

The next day in the
newspaper, the headline declared . . .

scroll down

'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ WAL-MART!'

Oh, quit groaning!

I don't write this stuff,

I receive it from my warped friends and pass it on to you!

Friday, June 25, 2010

Anne Morrow Linberg said this. ---Don't wish me happiness-I don't
expect to be happy it's gotten beyond that, somehow. Wish me courage
and strength and a sense of humor-I will need them all.

Plastic surgery - butt lift

(Friends don't let friends have this procedure.)
Most of you have heard of a small surgical procedure called a butt lift .
I wanted to show you how it turns out.
Please, refrain from getting this procedure done.
You will regret it!
Please see photo below...

Wednesday, June 23, 2010


These are sentences actually typed by Medical secretaries at the NHS in Greater Glasgow :

1.The patient has no previous history of suicides.

2. Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital.

3. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.

7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

9. Discharge status:- Alive, but without my permission.

10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

12. She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in Casualty, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

14. The skin was moist and dry.

15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.

19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our care for physical therapy.

20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

21 Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

23. Skin: somewhat pale, but present.

24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

25. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

26. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

27. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

28. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed.

29. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.

30. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

31. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.

32. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.

33. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

Friday, June 18, 2010


behind me is the hill I had to climb to get to the hobbit outhouse!

caught not much in the way of fish.
caught the guy on the left of me 3 times.
hit the guy on the right in the head with the pole. caught rocks and a slimy lure.
still was fun!