Sunday, January 30, 2011

Duran Duran: The Man Who Stole A Leopard

Do you know where we are?
I'm longing for the dark
Of our nocturnal life
It begins and ends with you
Don't spill my secret

you were once running wild
hiding in the morning mist
game demands I make you mine
I thought that I could resist but the leopard in you silently preyed on me

I made my way back home (did you follow her)
I handled her with care (quiet and controlled)
So elegant and sleek (when I'm not afraid)
I need her to be near (does she belong to you?)
Don't spill my secret

Deserted by my friends (don't they understand?)
she's so much more than them (how could they compare?)
so now she's just for me (no one else can see)
I watch her while she sleeps (be sure she dreams of you)
don't spill my secret

(It's been quite a while) since we were last outside
(and do you miss the chase?) now that we've both been tamed
(inside this gilded cage) prisoners of our thoughts
(you saved me from myself) don't spill my secret

Don't spill my secret
(Repeat during newscast)...


"Today a man was taken from his apartment on the New Jersey shore and arrested
Under suspicion of entrapment of a wild animal. Police, after forced entry,
Discovered a caged leopard in the building! The fully grown feline was said
To be surprisingly domesticated.? before preparing her for relocation.
A large crowd is gathered outside to watch the beautiful creature as a giant
Cage was lowered slowly onto the street by a crane. From here, the leopard
Was transferred into the back of a truck for the journey ahead. A thoughtful
Onlooker said it's extraordinary to think that any human being could have
Lived so?silently? with such a dangerous animal. Police are saying the captive has simply befriended? the creature and barely left her side. It's alleged that he hunted her in the wild and expertly forged documents to facilitate her illegal export to the United States of America.

The incident has already created much controversy and is now likely to lead to a major international investigation into the life of the man who stole a leopard."

Friday, January 28, 2011

Welcome to Joshlynn

(Daddy Joshua and Baby Joshlynn)
My friends Joshua & Leah Pohlman, had there first child today before noon.

WELCOME TO Joshlynn Marjorie Marie Polhman was born by C section at 11:41 am CST.
She is 8 lbs 13oz and 20 1/2 inches, has a ton of hair(heartburn folks), and is very well loved.
Momma is resting and away the adventure goes.

I love you guys!

Happy Birthday, baby girl!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

A post...

I am sitting here, at home and the temp out side is 34 degrees (Fahrenheit). I am clothed and wearing socks (as you know most of us blog on the nude (AHEM)) I have my room heat as high as it will go, and a portable heater going, and I am freezing (well not so much)
you would thing that it would have to be -12 to make this happen. nope just long exposure to too much cold. from what I am aware of in the rest of my friends worlds, and those are who I am blogging for (hey everyone!) it has been a world of extremes. I try not to pay attention to it. life is WAY to stressful (...NO?...Really NO!...)
(as my poor head twitches to the side, and my eyes bug out of my head!)

Well now that we are all here, we can sit down and have a chat about things, get your cup of ____insert drink here___, I will get my green tea, and we will get comfy. BRB! turn down the heat, get a sip, boy is that good! Now where were we?

I am stressed out. (NO not you Shannon?)
yes me, and I am having trouble dealing with all of it. (why what has been going on?)
lots of stuff, way to much to mention, but since you asked and I have you all to myself you are going to hear it! (please do tell, with a smile on your face!) another sip of tea, boy is that good, hope you are comfy and enjoy the ride.
I haven't seen my primary physician since July. I will see a doctor Monday, just for medicine refills. haven't seen the shrink since before thanksgiving, saw Dr shrink in October.
(so you haven't seen a Dr recently?)
No I have all kinds of other Dr's to see. I have all kinds of specialists. and there is the ER if you get really sick! which has happened, I was so sick from thanksgiving to now, I don't remember much of thanksgiving week. we kept me high on pain pills and shoved chocolate in my mouth every time I opened it. that is what I remember. I have lost allot of weight, which isn't the way I want to do it but umm, yeah... I am still not eating much, but I am doing okay... I just flicked myself in the eye with my tea container, I am so talented!
stress-full week ahead.
Things I can't discuss for now are making me crazy. (I will be here when you need to talk.) I know, you are a really good friend ya know that? (have to be with a friend like you ;P)
I am holding my own.
I have lowered 4 of my meds. why take them if they don't work? trust me folks I am a professional, I do this all the time, at least I am way nicer about it than the Dr's would be. At least I can keep soft things down. slowly but surely I will get there, and it is going to work out.
My mother is dying of liver failure, you would of thought the cancer would of killed her?
So Being that I detest things that are like my mother (hey it is better than it was) I will not die like her. I will have a long healthy life ahead of me one foot at a time.

seriously, now for other things....

I found a picture on Craigslist that was totally inappropriate. here it is.

that is like a super Dutch oven ewwwww.....

see how nicely I work that in?
(...NO?...Really NO!...)

and that is my post and I am sticking by it.


Friday, January 21, 2011

Raise your glass!

Have you ever wondered what the difference between a Grandmother and
a Grandfather is?

Well here it is:

A friend, who worked away from home all week, always made a morning
available when he would take his 7-year old granddaughter for a drive in
the car for some bonding time -- just him and his granddaughter.

One particular Sunday however, he had a bad cold and just wanted to stay
in bed. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take
their granddaughter out in the car.

When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see how her
Grandfather was.

'Well, did you enjoy your ride with Grandma?'

'Great, Grandpa' the girl replied, 'and do you know what? We didn't see a
single tosser, blind bastard, dick-head or wanker anywhere today!'

Almost brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?

Monday, January 10, 2011

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:


ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.


COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.


COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?


COSTELLO: For my office?


COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?


COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?


(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on 'START'..............

Friday, January 7, 2011

to blog or not to blog, II

I am back from the wilds and I miss it dearly. no phone to speak of, no computer, no noise, just the occasional fun movie (YOU have got to see Despicable Me) Agnes is my favorite character, "It's so fluffy, I gonna die!"

and the wind and the rain and the snow and the mountain. I was in heaven.
I love it there.
the elephant that always sits in the middle of my chest was gone until I had to come back. now it won't go away. it is stress. I slept great there. I am now sleeping like shit here at home.
what did I do?
I cooked everything I could get my hands on, and then some. I knitted. I spent time with J. I had tea with friends, there was so much love there. and now I feel like part of my soul is missing. it is with that glorious mountain.

the town and its people are charming, in a slightly skewed, lovely off coloured way.
they have a sign mounted to one of the power pole. it reads,
"Whittier- last refuge of the unemployable". or something to that effect.
one of the town kidnapped a front loader and held it hostage, until the city paid her rent for it sitting on her property, she tied a 55 gallon drum to it, and since all the tires went flat (Hmmm...) they had no choice but to do what what she finally wanted.
these are my kind of people. I understand them.

it has given me some perspective, on what I want from life.
I get on facebook, I used to get on it a whole lot. well I had about 6 weeks away from it, and ya know what,? it lost all of it's appeal, as did much. I read books, I made things with my hands that I could hold. 3 hours on facebook, and what do you have? nothing. nada, zilch, zip.
my blog has suffered as well as my lovely friends. Gotta play farmville... CRAP!
all of it. pointless crap? who cares what I am doing?
my 84 or 58 or some such followers,(most I met on facebook playing farmville) do they really care what I ate for breakfast or how I am feeling?
yeah, right.
all my profile page is my latest famville crap. C_R_A_P!!!

there is more to life that sitting all day at the computer.

so on the eve of my 2 year blog-anniversary I am left with this thought:

I get back and it is doctors this and pills that, and tests and procedures.

being that is it the new year this is my resolution for 2011:
I am done being a Guinea pig for the fucking dr's. if they haven't done it yet, it ain't happening.
so what if I have my period back after surgery. my parts stay intact. so what it they want to shove needles in my face and put in a pain management clinic, not happening. p-e-r-i-o-d.
I will do blood work, I will do health checks. I am done with the pills and the surgeries and the torture, at the hands of hypocrites.
I will work to get to know my body better, and give it what it needs, be good to it and to me.
I don't know how much I have left in me. I am tired, and fed up.
I am right where I need to be. thanks for listening

Wednesday, January 5, 2011