Saturday, October 31, 2009



and that is how it is done folks!

that is also how the earth was created and babies are made!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!




OHHH NOOO!!



There are witches in my mailbox.
What am I to do?
I found them there this morning,
doing things they shouldn't do!!




How the witches got there,
I haven't got a clue.
But they won't be there much longer
because I'm sending them to
YOU!!!!!!





You've been Witch Kissed!
Before the warts begin to spread,
pass the kisses on instead!

WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REGULAR JOBS!

WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REGULAR JOBS

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawsonon being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."


2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."


3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."


4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men.. He lets us wear earrings."


5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."


6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh : "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (now that is beautiful)


7. Bill Peterson , a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle."

8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton .."


9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."


10. Lou Duva , veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is."


11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)


12. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"


13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M , recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."


14. Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she is too damn ugly to kiss good-bye."


15. These are right in the ballpark with Mike Tyson's answer to what he will do when he retires..."I guess I'll just fade into Bolivia ."

Friday, October 30, 2009

maybe....

Teacher says to her class, I want you to tell a story of when you are older and it must end in Maybe.

First kid says, My name is Stan and when i'm a man i'm gonna buy a van and drive to Japan Maybe.

Teacher, very good stan very good.

Next kid says, my name is Sam, and like stan i'm gonna buy a van and drive to Japan Maybe.

Very good Sam, very good,

Little girl stands up, and says my name is Amy and when i'm a Lady i'm gonna have a Baby Maybe.

Very good Amy, very Good.......Teacher Say's anyone else.

So another boy stands up and Say's

My name is Buck and i dont give a Fuck about Stan, Sam or Amy, but i'm gonna give Amy that Baby, and there's no Fucking Maybe.

Hall~O~WEENIE!!!!!

Happy Halloween.



A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween Party
He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem.
A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:

Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate.
Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co.

The man thinks this is terrible because they have emphasized his wooden leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and he receives another parcel and a note, which says:

Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a monk's costume. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and, with your bald head, you should really look the part.
Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co.


Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head, so again he writes the company another nasty letter of complaint..
The next day he gets a small Parcel and a note, which reads:

Dear Sir,
We have TRIED our very BEST Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses and a bag of crushed nuts. Pour the molasses over your bald head, pat on crushed nuts, stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a caramel apple.
Very truly yours, Acme Costume Co.

welcome to Jennjenn



thanks for joining!
have an adorable day!

ouch!

Hypnotist at Senior Centre




It was entertainment night at the Senior center and over 300 seniors came to see the show.

Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: "I'm here to put you into a trance. I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch.
It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations."

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, and watch the watch..."

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch,
until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

"SHIT!" said the Hypnotist.

It took three days to clean up the Senior center ...

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

follow up to AV's 'can't break the squence'

I am also a free agent being disabled and what work I choose to take on is cool. I get done what I am supposed to. I now have the gym added (with a 8lb weight loss in 1 week) woo hooo!
Christmas is rearing it's ugly head, and I make all my presents. I'm totally cool with that no problem....
Problem- I took the job of decorating the common areas of the building that I live in. 4800 sq ft minus the 16 rooms that the 15 men and I live in.(we all have our own rooms.)
that means:
the hall ways. the kitchen and bathrooms. room #, curtains, stenciling and murals.
fortunately for now it is room #'s and curtain making, Np.
it is something that I love to do and I am always doing something crafty/arty. but when I get a block, and I am freaking out now as they want to pay my to do art (which I do all the time for free, I have sold a couple of things, my work is good enough, it is just my self esteem)
so I told the owners that when I am done, and they still have to have maintenance paint some more, so I have time... that they can decide when I am done. they have some of my art as presents so that is why they thought of me...
I don't see it as being good enough.
I have a very short attention span, that is why I can sew, fiber arts(crocheting, embroidery, etc)
paint, bead work, silk flowers and anything in between.
so I do allot of things, and very well as I have been doing this stuff since 8yo.
my Grandmother tried as early as 4 to get me started, by 8 I was an old hand at it.
I guess it is fear.
I have only started feeling useful in the last couple of years. and really in the last year.

Just AV's post got me thinking and so that is my ramblings to it.
thanks for reading!










Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Personally I think this is a whole lot of hype to make the drug pushers money...
as someone who is chronically ill, the advise at the bottom is good to be reminded of.
so no:


PAY ATTENTION!!!!!!!

Know the Difference between a Cold and H1N1 Flu Symptoms:

Symptom

Cold

H1N1 Flu


Fever

Fever is rare with a cold.

Fever is usually present with the flu in up to 80% of all flu cases. A temperature of 100°F or higher for 3 to 4 days is associated with the H1N1 flu.


Coughing

A hacking, productive (mucus- producing) cough is often present with a cold.

A non-productive (non-mucus producing) cough is usually present with the H1N1 flu (sometimes referred to as dry cough)..


Aches

Slight body aches and pains can be part of a cold.

Severe aches and pains are common with the H1N1 flu.


Stuffy Nose

Stuffy nose is commonly present with a cold and typically resolves spontaneously within a week.

Stuffy nose is not commonly present with the H1N1 flu.


Chills

Chills are uncommon with a cold.

60% of people who have the H1N1 flu experience chills.


Tiredness

Tiredness is fairly mild with a cold.

Tiredness is moderate to severe with the H1N1 flu.


Sneezing

Sneezing is commonly present with a cold.

Sneezing is not common with the H1N1 flu.


Sudden Symptoms

Cold symptoms tend to develop over a few days.

The H1N1 flu has a rapid onset within 3-6 hours. The flu hits hard and includes sudden symptoms like high fever, aches and pains.


Headache

A headache is fairly uncommon with a cold.

A headache is very common with the H1N1 flu, present in 80% of flu cases.


Sore Throat

Sore throat is commonly present with a cold.

Sore throat is not commonly present with the H1N1 flu.


Chest Discomfort

Chest discomfort is mild to moderate with a cold.

Chest discomfort is often severe with the H1N1 flu.


The only way to stop the spread of the epidemic is to spread the awareness.
--------------------

These are precautions even a lazy person like me can take and there are no harmful drugs involved....

The only portals of entry are the nostrils and mouth/throat. In a global epidemic of this nature, it's almost impossible not coming into contact with H1N1 in spite of all precautions. Contact with H1N1 is not so much of a problem as proliferation is.

While you are still healthy and not showing any symptoms of H1N1 infection, in order to prevent proliferation, aggravation of symptoms and development of secondary infections, some very simple steps, not fully highlighted in most official communications, can be practiced (instead of focusing on how to stock N95 or Tamiflu):

1. Frequent hand-washing (well highlighted in all official communications).


2. "Hands-off-the-face" approach. Resist all temptations to touch any part of face (unless you want to eat, bathe or slap).

3. *Gargle twice a day with warm salt water (use Listerine if you don't trust salt). *H1N1 takes 2-3 days after initial infection in the throat/nasal cavity to proliferate and show characteristic symptoms. Simple gargling prevents proliferation. In a way, gargling with salt water has the same effect on a healthy individual that Tamiflu has on an infected one. Don't under estimate this simple, inexpensive and powerful preventative method.

4. Similar to 3 above, *clean your nostrils at least once every day with warm salt water. *Not everybody may be good at using a Neti pot, but *blowing the nose hard once a day and swabbing both nostrils with cotton swabs dipped in warm salt water is very effective in bringing down viral population.*


5. *Boost your natural immunity with foods that are rich in Vitamin C. *If you have to supplement with Vitamin C tablets, make sure that it also has Zinc to boost absorption.

6. *Drink as much of warm liquids (tea, coffee, etc) as you can. *Drinking warm liquids has the same effect as gargling, but in the reverse direction. They wash off proliferating viruses from the throat into the stomach where they cannot survive, proliferate or do any harm.

Monday, October 26, 2009

40 Yrs Later: The 7 Children In 'The Sound of Music'

40 Yrs Later: The 7 Children In 'The Sound of Music'
'The Sound of Music' won the Academy Award for Best Picture of 1965 and is one of the most popular musicals ever produced.

Remember the 7 children of the Trapp family?





They were having a reunion after 40 years
and all were looking healthy and amazingly well...





NOW CURRENTLY...

It wouldn't be funny if it weren't so true... Julie Andrews turned 69 and to commemorate her 69th birthday on October 1, actress/vocalist Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan's RadioCityMusic Hallfor the benefit of the AARP.. One of the musical numbers she performed was "My Favourite Things" from the legendary movie "The Sound Of Music."

Here are the actual lyrics she used:

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favourite things.
Cadillac's and cataracts, and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of myfavourite things..
When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember myfavourite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.
Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favourite things.
Back pains, confused brains, and no need for sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short, shrunken frames,
When we remember our favourite things.
When the joints ache, When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd that lasted over four minutes and repeated encores.

happy Hallo-weenie

Some days rocks, some days roses; you gotta pick your flowers where they grow.










Happy Halloween!!


You've been Mooned!!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Hallo~weenie!



it's that time of year... scary but true...
here you go... scroll slow and get in to the mood.....





I thought you might enjoy this…





Halloween is coming!



A man is walking home alone late one foggy night...

when behind him he hears:


Bump...




BUMP...




BUMP...





Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.




BUMP...





BUMP...





BUMP...






Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him





FASTER...





FASTER...






BUMP...





BUMP...




BUMP...





He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.





However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping





clappity-BUMP...




clappity-BUMP...




clappity-BUMP...





on his heels, the terrified man runs.





Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.



With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.





Bumping and clapping toward him.





The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!





Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...





and,








(hopefully you're ready for this!!!)





The coffin stops .

Saturday, October 24, 2009

guilty or innocent?

http://itsnotthecoffin.blogspot.com/2009/10/tag-guilty-or-innocent.html

Argentum Vulgaris sent me this a while back, I am fond of his diversions. so here it goes!

Now for the rules . . .


RULE 1- You can only say Guilty or Innocent.

RULE 2- You are not allowed to explain anything unless someone comments and asks!

RULE 3- Copy and paste this into your notes , delete my answers, type in your answers and tag some blogger friends to answer this.

* Asked someone to marry you? Guilty.
* Ever kissed someone of the same sex? Guilty.
* Danced on a table in a bar? Guilty.
* Ever told a lie? Guilty.
* Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have back? Guilty.
* Kissed a picture? Guilty.
* Slept in until 5 PM? Guilty.
* Fallen asleep at work/school? Guilty.
* Held a snake? Guilty.
* Been suspended from school? Guilty.
* Worked at a fast food restaurant? Guilty.
* Stolen from a store? Guilty.
* Been fired from a job? Innocent.
* Done something you regret? Guilty.
* Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Guilty.
* Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Guilty.
* Kissed in the rain? Guilty.
* Sat on a roof top? Guilty.
* Kissed someone you shouldn't? Guilty.
* Sang in the shower? Guilty.
* Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Innocent.
* Shaved your head? Guilty.
* Had a boxing membership? Innocent.
* Made a boy/girlfriend cry? Guilty.
* Been in a band? Innocent.
* Shot a gun? Innocent.
* Donated Blood? Innocent.
* Eaten alligator meat? Innocent.
* Eaten cheesecake? Guilty.
* Still love someone you shouldn't? Innocent.
* Have/had a tattoo? Guilty.
* Liked someone, but will never tell who? Innocent.
* Been too honest? Guilty.
* Ruined a surprise? Guilty.
* Ate in a restaurant and got really bloated that you couldn't walk after wards? Guilty.
* Erased someone in your friends list? Guilty.
* Dressed in a woman’s clothes (if you’re a guy) or man’s clothes (if you’re a girl)? Guilty
* Joined a pageant? innocent.
* Been told that you’re handsome or beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said? Guilty.
* Had communication with your ex? Guilty.
* Got totally drunk on the night before exam? Innocent.
* Got totally angry that you cried so hard? Guilty.


Looks like I'm GUILTY as charged.... (O)(O)

Now, I'm going to tag.... let me see:

1)The Innocent Piper @ http://hopelessbeliever.blogspot.com

2)Jess Mendez @ http://theartofjesse.blogspot.com

3)Alan @ http://www.alanaroundtheworld.com

4)Beth @ http://upstateoddities.blogspot.com

As I am having attention span difficulties please bear with me if I didn't include you.
please feel free to include yourself same rules apply must link back to me.

have a great one Gentle Reader!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

I just pee'd my pants laughing



Ok girls, if your husband is getting close to retirement or is already there, this may be in your future....



After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips

to Target.

Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred

to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she

loves to
browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter

from the local Target.



Dear Mrs. Samuel,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion

in our

store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban

both

of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr.

Samuel,

are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance

cameras.



1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other

people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at

5-minute

intervals.



3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to

the women's restroom.



4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official

voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the

employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from

her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing

management to lose time
and costing the company money.



5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms

on layaway.



6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.



7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the

children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and

blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.





8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began

crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs

were called.



9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as

a mirror while he picked his nose.



10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he

asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.



11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly

humming THE \'MISSION IMPOSSIBLE\' THEME.



12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna

look' by using different sizes of funnels.



13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed

through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'



14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
he

assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES

AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:



15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited

awhile,

then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One

of

the clerks passed out.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

my skin


The Fool card affirms that my alter ego today is a Quantam Leaper with a hero's heart. My superpower is liberated by free will and trust, which lead me to explore simple speculations for their own sake. I can move beyond the fear factor. I don't know where I'm going, and I don't care where I've been. I only know that, as the hero of my own story, it's for me to find out. For, like Alice, I'm on the verge of stepping into a rabbit hole; unless I stop short and play it safe, I'll know soon enough where following my own feet has landed me on this curious venture. The blissful frailty of unwritten conclusions and unguarded access sweetens the desire. So despite familiar warnings, irresistible promise draws my eyes wide open and away from domestic comfort zones, with only certain inquiry, hope and faith to recommend my course. I'll never know until I try.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
this is my card for tomorrow.

I went to the gym today, hadn't been in a couple of days.
My skin is thinner than I thought.
after being "mooed" at, and other rude nonsense. I was hurt.
it takes guts when you are 475lbs to wear a bathing suit let alone the rest of it.
I have the best friends, and one of them who is a member I talked to. not really expecting anything. I was just frustrated and hurt.
She was my champion today.
it resolved some things. and after a talk with someone I am getting a tour and some help with using more than just the pool and my walker.
All because I talked and listened, and made my happiness more important that shallow jerks making comments.
My skin is thicker than I thought and it is enough for today.
it is amazing the people that want to help, when I am helping myself.

I am getting through this, I am okay and it is enough, for today...
tomorrow is a different story...
thanks for reading.

funny!

If this doesn't make you laugh just go ahead and close your casket!
A pastor concluded that his church was getting into very serious financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed.
So, at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.
Jack, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task.
The minister knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely capable of selling some bibles. But, he had serious doubts about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept to himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. Poor Louie stuttered badly. But, not wanting to discourage Louie, the minister decided to let him try anyway.
He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked with bibles. He asked them to meet with him and report the results of their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.
Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately asked Jack, "Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our bibles last week?"
Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied, "Using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here's the $200 I collected on behalf of the church."
"Fine job, Jack!" the minister said, vigorously shaking his hand. "You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you."
Turning to Paul, "And Paul, how many bibles did you sell for the Church last week?"
Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, "I am a professional salesman. I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and here's $280 I collected."
The minister responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly a professional salesman and the church is indebted to you."
Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie and said, "And Louie, did you manage to sell any bibles last week?" Louie silently offered the minister a large envelope.
The minister opened it and counted the contents. "What is this? Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the church, door to door, in just one week?"
Louie just nodded. That's impossible!" both Jack and Paul said in unison. "We are professional salesmen, yet, you claim to have sold 10 times as many bibles as we could."
"Yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister agreed. "I think you'd better explain how you managed to accomplish this Louie."
Louie shrugged. "I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.
Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us what you said to them when they answered the door!"
"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied, "W-w-w-w-would y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks ------o-o-o-or-------- wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you??"
Remember when the funniest jokes were the clean ones? They still are!
A cheerful heart is good medicine.
May you always have love to share, health to spare, and friends that care.

Monday, October 19, 2009

ACK!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a case of food poisoning at the moment.
never accept cake from a stupid idiot, even it if is only a bite.
fucken cake was mouldy, but the lovely ingredients (IE NON FOOD FOOD)(and past it's date)
and I (was) puking my guts out, and other lovely body functions, that anyone with( or has ever had) food poisoning, will know.

Just trying to be non murderous, to all at this point.

Friday, October 16, 2009

'3900 Saturdays'


"We do not stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing"










'3900 Saturdays'

The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday mornings. Perhaps it's the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise, or maybe it's the unbounded joy of not having to be at work. Either way, the first few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable.

A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the garage with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the morning g paper in the other. What began as a typical Saturday morning turned into one of those lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time. Let me tell you about it:

I turned the dial up into the phone portion of the band on my ham radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning swap net. Along the way, I came across an older sounding chap, with a tremendous signal and a golden voice. You know the kind, he sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business. He was telling whom-ever he was talking with something about 'a thousand marbles.' I was intrigued and stopped to listen to what he had to say....

' Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you're busy with your job. I'm sure they pay you well but it's a shame you have to be away from home and your family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet. It's too bad you missed your daughter's 'dance recital' he continued. 'Let me tell you something that has helped me keep my own priorities.' And that's when he began to explain his theory of a 'thousand marbles.'

'You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic. The average person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years.

'Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3900, which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire lifetime. Now, stick with me, Tom, I'm getting to the important part.

It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail', he went on, 'and by that time I had lived through over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays.' 'I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy. So I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had. I ended up having to visit three toy stores to round up 1000 marbles I took them home and put them inside a large, clear plastic container right here in the shack next to my gear.'

'Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and thrown it away. I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on the really important things in life.

There's nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your priorities straight .'

'Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign-off with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast. This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container. I figure that if I make it until next Saturday then I have been given a little extra time. And the one thing we can all use is a little more time.'

'It was nice to meet you Tom, I hope you spend more time with your family, and I hope to meet you again here on the band. This is a 75 Year old Man, K9NZQ, clear and going QRT, good morning!'

You could have heard a pin drop on the band when this fellow signed off. I guess he gave us all a lot to think about. I had planned to work on the antenna that morning, and then I was going to meet up with a few hams to work on the next club newsletter.

Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss. 'C'mon honey, I'm taking you and the kids to breakfast.' 'What brought this on?' she asked with a smile. 'Oh, nothing special, it's just been a long time since we spent a Saturday together with the kids. And hey, can we stop at a toy store while we're out? I need to buy some marbles.




And so, as one smart bear once said....'If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.' - Winnie the Pooh.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

No Sir Officer

No Sir Officer, We've Only Been Fishing......
"WOW"




2,000 HP Outboard Inflatable .....

Here's the latest drug runner toy from Europe ...

This thing belts across the English channel 3 times per week and was just a blur on the radar of the British Coast Guard.

They were so astonished by the speed of the unknown craft, they brought in a special high speed helicopter to chase it.

Drugs were found on board. Of course,

you'd have to be on drugs to put the throttle down on this thing
"There once lived a marvelous teacher of something called 'The School of New Thought' named Florence Scovel Shinn. Florence taught principles and philosophies that essentially supported that 'all things are possible,' especially when you're willing to look directly into the eye of that lion named fear and then watch as it walks away. What she meant by this has a direct relationship with the energies of this, 'International Face Your Fears' day. Sometimes it appears as if the age of miracles is over and nothing is left but doubt and fear, but nothing could be further from the truth. Fear in itself is the most destructive of forces. But there's an antidote to it called faith. In fact, faith is alchemical since it can change the essence of fear and it's twin siblings worry and anxiety into optimism, trust, belief and hope! But you must first face your own fears, thereby providing the universe with the opportunity to prove that all things are indeed possible. Demonstrate this fearlessness today. Find one thing that you're afraid of, walk up to it and stare it in the eye. It will back down and you will have reclaimed your power. Transmute that fear with faith. Write the word 'Faith' on a piece of paper and put it directly in front of you. Train yourself in faith. For, as Florence reminds us, fearless faith combined with the power of the spoken word unleashes a torrent of abundance and good. When all fear is transmuted we will each live truly magical lives. And, speaking of magic, 'I am wide awake to my good, I never miss a trick!' Say that when you wake up and before you go to sleep for nine straight days and nights and watch as the lion that represents your fears travels far, far away! Take that f-f-f-f-fear! Now you are the King of your F-F-F-F-Forest!!"

from my Daily Feng Shui Tip for Tuesday, October 13.

this is why I bother with these things, every once in a while I get something good,
take a Big Bite and chew on that!
I'm off to swim.

Monday, October 12, 2009

I love you!

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never say its not quite as good as his mother's

.....then adopt a dog.

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want ...

.....then adopt a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies

.....then adopt a dog.

If you want someone who is content to get on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores

.....then adopt a dog !

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually ..

.....then adopt a dog.

BUT, on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness .,
....
....
....
....
....
....

....
.....
.....
....

......then adopt a cat!

Now be honest, you thought I was gonna say... marry a man, didn't you?


Sicko


I have been on medications or meds, for 25 years, as long as I have been a Mental health patient.
what I am about to show you is my pills for the day (one day) three pill cups.

some are my Dr. prescribed medications ( the ones in the blister packs )


the rest are supplements that I take (AND YES ALL MY DR'S KNOW WHAT ALL I AM TAKING, THANKS!!!)

all of those go together for 3 cups of meds a day for a week. I make them in 2 parts, 4 days worth, then the last 3 days. it is hard to keep more than that straight. I used to do it all myself, then I started making mistakes so now the pharmacy helps some and makes the blister packs, and I do the rest.
I have 16 medications that I take on a regular basis. Not even close to the maximum I have over the years. at my highest I was taking 64 different meds a day.
most are for my mental health, and to make sure I sleep.
I have horrible nightmares from being tortured as a child, in more ways than most of you can even imagine.
I wasn't a drug addict for the fun of it. ;o)

the supplements are to help even out the damage that the meds incur, and to cover what they don't do. I have nerve pain that isn't being addressed by my dr's as I get really bad reactions when I take the medicines. losing your mind is less painful.

yes I am fat. I am working on it. I have a gym membership where I start swimming tomorrow.(had my post op exam and got cleared for 3 weeks out (tomorrow) to start back up.

take this how ever you want....

it is sick and I am sick from it. I am sick of it. Not proud, just doing the best I can to live my life and deal with my problems, I am proud of that.

night

morning

afternoon

more

this is what I have to offer for late autumn 2009. hope you enoy it as much as I did getting the pictures.
we are surrounded by mountains and ocean.
this is my favourite time of the year up here.
and I have 37 years up here.
enjoy!