Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Mating Call

Mating Call

Two Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods. All of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave.

'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering,
'Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo!
He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.

The Irishman was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all about,.
'Was the other Indian crazy or what?'

The Indian replied 'No, It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there's a beautiful squaw in there waiting for us.

Just then they came upon another cave.
The second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and hollered,
'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!'
Immediately, there was the answer.
'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' from deep inside.

He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening.

The Irishman wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then spied a third large cave.
As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking, 'Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the Indians found.
There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!'

He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might
'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' Like the others, he then heard an answering call, 'WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO!'

With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave,tearing off his clothes as he ran.
The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read...............

You'll like this


Monday, August 15, 2011

What is that noise you are listening to?

is a cat being raped? nope, just me singing.
I sing, didn't say I could I just like to for me. it makes me happy.
I got stuck in the 1980's romantic/new wave/punk stuff.
it is hard to be around me if you have a head ache, one, I am keyed up, on gack level nine.
yes, GACK! not a word the spell check tells me.
Gack, that feeling that you have just before you puke, when your body is going at warp 90++++, and you want to die.

OMGOODNESS!!!! is this going to be a fun post? well no that was the last one but it won't be as bad as possible.

I am so gacked. I have been puking really bad, so that my head feels like it is going to explode. my face is a mess with all of the broken blood vessels, I am "spotty"
on a good note I am losing weight hand over fist, and my ass is disappearing at an alarming rate, mostly rapidly.
how is this weight loss different?
it is coming off and staying off. I have a bunch of muscle, that I have never had.
you can see my spine and I have hipbones and ribs that I can feel,
also everything hurts like hell. also I can do what I have to to help myself, which at this point is not much.
Oh I "look" good.
yeah something of a slight tan and over 100lbs of weight loss. I am growing my hair for now so the mohawk is funny looking to say the least. like an over grown chia pet.

I have a new camera but I am still learning to use it, so a picture will be soon, I promise.
and when I am less spotty..
I am okay. the guys are taking care of me and making it much easier to do this. I got really angry after my mother died and I got very sick, and I am only now able to hold small things down again, bananas, bananas, gack.
I walked out of the shower the other night and walked past the trash can in the main kitchen and puked in it. it smelled bad but not like that bad.
so that got changed immediately.
so life goes on and I hold on.
here is the song I am listening to right now so I will leave you with that. later folks thanks for reading.

Love The Irish

Joe says to Paddy: "Close your curtains the next time you're shagging
your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."

Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them stupid bastards because I wasn't
even at home yesterday.


The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. They imported 50 million
tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil.


Paddy says to Mick - I'm ready for a holiday, only this year I'm going
to do it a bit different. 3 years ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant.

2 years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant.

Last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant.
Mick asks - So what are you going to do this year?.
Paddy replies - I'm goin ta take her with me!


Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on a Friday this year".... Mick says
"Let's hope it's not the 13th."


Paddy & Mick find three hand grenades, so they take them to a police
station. Mick: "What if one explodes before we get there?" Paddy:
"We'll lie and say we only found two."


Paddy's in the bathroom and Murphy shouts to him. "Did you find the
shampoo?" Paddy says, "yes but it's for dry hair and I've just wet mine."

Sunday, August 14, 2011

nothing new

nothing new, just sick and depressed.
life is good, well most of the time.