Saturday, January 28, 2012
5 minutes, part 2 and Asstastic!
*J started something new with me, and it is working incredibly well, he will tell me "it will be better in 5 minutes, just hold on", do you know how strong that makes me? breaking life up into 5 minute chunks. makes it so much easier to digest the day and the happenings.
I have so much shit in my head that I want to write, and so much I think about but it happens at night when I am supposed to be sleeping, so I sleep, mind whirling at 10 million mph. the drugs still shut me down dead, even losing 25 mg of elavil, I am dead to the world. I have not been sleeping with earplugs in, I will just keeping going off the drugs until I can't sleep and then I will stop, and make it so I can barely sleep.
no sleep=bad things.*
this is a post I came across, while looking around that I never finished and it is how I really feel. it was dated December 11th 2011 and promptly got forgotten about.
let me tell you about my Asstastic day Friday:
we had been trying to get stuff done since I am going to be sick. so me and J are out driving. it was -11 degrees at the time. Anchorage is a very scenic city and we have a ton of park land in and around anchorage, most of it wet lands, so lots and lots of tree and water and parks to sit at and watch the sunset, which has been off the charts lately with all of this -degree weather.
extreme heat like extreme cold requires more water.
FYI this is going to be TMI time and probably PMSL and ROFLMAO, so don't read on if you are squeamish, but then why are you on my blog if you are squeamish?
I wear adult diapers and have since I was 14. they mixed some meds when I spent most of the year in the psych hospital, and my bladder muscles gave. and part of My IC makes my bladder less elastic(well not at all).
this is the picture I could find of them.
my liners are 24.75" long and about 10 inches wide. they cover me from the top ass crack to belly button(and they just keep getting bigger.) they are huge and hold allot, but not all the time do they keep me dry, so I have a diaper bag like you would have for a baby with diapers, wipes and extra clothes, and I sit on something called a chucks, it has an absorbent side and a water proof side they are on all of my chairs and bed and car seat, mine are reusable, meaning you wash them.
so more water cause it is really dry. really cold watching the sunset in the running car, talking and laughing.
as it happens I am peeing and there is no bathroom, so do what I always do? get out of the car and do my quick change, and get cleaned up, like I always do,not so bad so far. well I get out of the car and it is still running, so I get gassed which causes me to cough. all of a sudden the diaper is no good, and I am wet to my knees. J announces that he has 58 blood sugar.( he is type 1 diabetic) fortunately we also have a food bag, along with other things.
I this point I am using every swear word I know and I few I made up.
keep in mind what temp it is out, and that the car is off and I have the two passenger doors wide open trying to figure out how I am going to get changed cause we are not driving anywhere till his blood sugar comes up to safe levels. I am great at a diaper change, but this it is not that easy. I am wearing 5 top layers 2 bottom layer and 3 pairs of socks. I have to get out of my coat and the two other jackets I am wearing and everything below the waist but the socks,I get my shoes off and I am not standing in the snow sock footed, remember the temp? so I get my pants and underwear off, now standing on them, on the worst possible place on a small hill, so out comes the wipes and my bare ass exposed to the elements. we have not seen a soul we are out in the boonies, the entire time. minute I am tending to personal matters FREEZING MY ASS OFF! a hippy chick skier comes by. all I can do is start laughing, worst thing I can do cause I am peeing again and no diaper, pants and such. so I get out my clean under pants, and they aren't clean. they were washed with a cough drop that has gone brown white and blue green, more swearing ensued. I finished cleaning up, and got redressed to get back in the cars and get warm, it has been off the whole time. we have to wait for J's blood sugar to come back up and I am home to a shower...
needless to say we are staying home today. it is looking like it will be the coldest recorded year in history or at least it is stacking up to be. it is currently -12 below. I am going to go get back under the heating blanket, so stay warm all and cool where you need to.
I hope you enjoy my tale of woe and the wilderness.
My ass is still cold. at least I am dry.
love to all.