Thursday, March 15, 2012

and it goes...

I am well enough to blog, that doesn't mean I feel good.
All I do is sleep, oh and puke every day.
nothing like trying to sleep/die and having to move to puke, umm yeah.
this really fucken sucks.
the highlight of my day is trying to drown myself in the hot tub.
I am now so gacked I just had to drink my vitamins. as it is near med time.
so what have I been doing for the last six weeks?
off all of the neurotin, last 25 of evavil, and 50 mg of atarax. Monday I half my HTZ, so I don't start falling down.
I am down 136 lbs for a weight of 378lbs.
I will stop for a few months and get my bearings.
I am having panic attacks that make me wish I was dead.
Have I told you how tired I am?
this too shall pass.

on a brighter note I am more mentally aware, so I am going through all of my belongings with a mind to spring cleaning. this should be good. who knew someone could have so much shit?

well I am back to bed night all!


Tempo said...

I've been wondering how you are Shan, sorry to hear you are still doing it tough but also a bit happy to hear youre seeing light at the end of the tunnel. I'm sure it will be worth it...eventually!

Argentum Vulgaris said...

Nice to have a little news. That's a big weight loss and I guess would take a little getting used to. Keep the chin up.


Anonymous said...

Hi there adora! I hope you feel better soon sweetness...

Me and the B_____ Julian broke up but I just wanted to say hello to a real friend...