Saturday, July 23, 2011

I think I am okay...

My mother is dead.
oh shit.
I do know this. I did everything the way I am not ashamed of.
our lack of a relationship was her fault, and the fact I would not let her walk on me, in me or through me.
It hurts to know that nothing will be set straight.
I am not really very happy right now.
when has MY happiness ever mattered?
now.
I have no idea where this is going, stay tuned.
BTW thanks for all the love, you guys are better than my family.
that is saying allot.

4 comments:

Tempo said...

I felt a little the same way when my mum died..so many things left unsaid and unsorted. The things I wanted to say never got said, her apology's were never heard.
Like me, I guess it will take some time to work out just how you feel about it all. But we'll all be here wishing you the best.

Argentum Vulgaris said...

Oh shit, I have been absent and haven't seen the email notices about the new posts. I won't offer condolences, I think it hardly appropriate considering how you feel. I will just say that friends are here. I must say I was surprised that your 'family' finally decided to tell you after some time.

Face the front Adora, don't look back, the future is forward.

Love

AV

Adorabibble said...

thanks to the both of you.
My 'family' didn't tell me~ a person who used to deliver medicines to my mother offered me her condolences. that is how I found out. but ya know what? she isn't in pain any more and she can't hurt me further so it is all golden.

Argentum Vulgaris said...

That's even worse, look forward to better times. I am closing the PayPal account, I have t remove the widgets from the blogs. They wanted me to register with Brazilian taxes, bugger that!

AV