Sunday, September 18, 2011

if you call me at 10pm...

And threaten to kill yourself I will call the police to do a wellness check, and they will take you to the Psych ER, where you will have a nice visit with the people in scrubs.


How did your Saturday night go?
well welcome to my Saturday night.
one of my friends that I have known for 17 years, called me last night.
"I am tired and fed up and I have a plan to fix it all."
"what is the plan?"
"I can't talk about it, but I have enough pills in the house to do myself in"
so yeah umm...
being that I spent most of my life suicidal, I know what she is saying.
The hospital called me this am to talk about her. they can't confirm that she is there, but they want info. fine. she is probably pissed at me, no I know she is.
Really really really angry.
calling people before they go to bed to tell them that you are offing yourself is totally inappropriate. I am glad she called, instead of doing something stupid.
she has the history and the means.
that is something I can't ignore.
but for me not to take that shit seriously, WHAT THE FUCK!!!
what if she had done something and I had not said something?
most of my friends are dead or disappeared.
she is it from those days, and I truly love her.
actions and behaviour have consequences.
maybe one day she will not hate me for stopping her.
right now I don't care as long as she is safe.


Tempo said...

Totally right of course... She may not like it but you gave her the opportunity to live and to reconsider her desperate thoughts. We cant force someone to live if they dont want to and there are lots of ways to end it all if she's determined, but the fact that she rang you means she's not ready to give up and you did exactly the right thing, well done and thank you for saving her life.

Adorabibble said...

She is currently not speaking to me, apparently she was Just "venting" according to the psych nurse, and "she won't be doing that again to me".
that wasn't venting, that was shitting on me and her.
I love her, but I can't go there.
I keep hoping that she will get it.
thanks for the love.