Friday, April 10, 2009


they have an article there about memory editing drug.

Being that I have extreme PTSD. I have tried Propranolol, and Prasosin. one is an alpha blocker and the other a beta blocker.

being on meds for as long as I have, I have tried to many of them.

while these had some effect on me, the side effects almost killed me.

I am the one who doesn't respond to meds as should. if there is going to be an adverse reaction I will be the one to have it.
when they do my allergy bracelet at the hospital they always put "see list"
I also have eczema. which relate to my allergies of metal, (all except gold and only on my hands can I wear it, I have all these beautiful earrings and I cant wear them...) and my Asthma.
Along with food and chemical allergies.
I have taken 300mgs of Atarax a day for years, and I still itch...

Back to the point. I think messing with peoples heads, is as bad as the original abuse.
I know that the system has only fucked me up worse.
The system was suppose to protect me.
I was the liar, and when I finally gave them irrefutable proof, it was " that's nice nothing we care to do, take your meds and shut up!"

When are they actually going to do some good?
You know when they did for me?

WHEN, I stopped doing what they told me to and did the exact opposite.
I was so afraid that they would put me away cause I was crazy if they found out the things that I did to help myself?
Ya know what?
THEY couldn't do a thing...!
Ya know why? cause I wasn't being harmful to myself and others.
I found out if I couldn't tell my Dr, what I was doing, I found one that I could.
everyone knows what I do these days...
and ya know what? the only one who thinks that it is not enough... is me!

Fuck the stupid shit.
it is okay and that is enough!

thanks for reading....
love and fishy fishes.