Tuesday, December 29, 2009

welcome to my new adorable friend~! FRIEND!

Welcome to Friend!

he says he is not easily corrupted..
and he is my youngest follower, so give him a warm welcome!

Monday, December 28, 2009

Question: What do you get when you mix PMS with GPS?

Answer: A crazy bitch who WILL find you!

Saturday, December 26, 2009

OMGOODNESS I met fairies today!

(in very high pitched girls scream!)
That is the Minister of Winter telling me that I look very pretty! along with Silvermist!
I love it.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Thursday, December 24, 2009

hairy fishnuts!

Merry Christmas with some home grown Alaskan humor from a truly funny Alaskan.

I have a couple of these as T-shirts for my other half J.
the top is my favorite one of his.
go to the web site hours of fun awaits... he actually made a movie, and it is funny a hell.
shot on location in Alaska, there are explosions and an outhouse in it.
You'll be glad you did!

love and fishey fishes

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

~ Friendship award ~

~ Friendship award ~

Friends are like fresh water
circling around in eternal ecstasy...

they make our moments more
profound, without even noticing
until much later on in life...

friendships are the type that
are unconditional and always
a short distance away...

Therefore, I hand this out to all
my blogger friends, and in turn
you can hand this award out with
no rules. To your friends.

Love: Adora

this award is from Jesse at http://theartofjesse.blogspot.com

I took his text and added my name, (THANKS JESSE!!!)

so pass it on and the love~!

'How long before I can get a haircut?

A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked,

'How long before I can get a haircut?

The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said,
'About 2 hours. ' The guy left

A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked ,

How long before I can get a haircut?'

The barber looked around at the shop and said,
'About 3 hours.'
The guy left.

A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked,

'How long before I can get a haircut?

The barber looked around the shop and said,
'About an hour and a half .'
The guy left.

The barber turned to his friend and said,
'Hey, Bob, do me a favour.

Follow that guy and see where he goes.
He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut,
but then he doesn't ever come back.'

A little while later,
Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.

The barber asked,
'So, where does that guy go when he leaves?'

Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said,

'Your house!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

look what I found!

well folks, it is Christmas week.
My next door neighbor got put of jail, and came home this am. so much for peaceful earplug free sleep. he was in for beating his pregnant niece (who isn't really kinda his niece and HE got her pregnant) he is native Alaskan and they are all related or know each other or are related by marriage. I knew that she was pregnant back in February, and the denial was amazing, he found out about 3 weeks to delivery and he beat her up, then he & she violated the restraining order.
It was a nice couple of quiet weeks... I could tell he was home this am. he always has to kill his breakfast before he eats it (that and every other meal) 6 (fucken) am. wham wham wham.
I own knitting needles and tiny metal crochet hooks, I will either make myself deaf or give him a vasectomy.
he has more kids, or as I call them Dumped-with-relatives, so he can fuck barely legal pieces of ass. get them pregnant, and dump them with relatives. he is 50. you think he would have some....?
now as to the rest of last week.
I met my new psychiatrist... 5th one this year. I see then 2 to 3 times and they are gone.
we will call him Dr. Conservative-out of his fucken mind-control freak. Or Dr. dumb-ass or DA for short.
we met last Tuesday for the first time, he seems like a nice older man with great stories... Yup right.
he wants to make 5 med changes at once.
I can see it now Christmas in the local loony bin or the hospital.
he hasn't read my file that I am sure of.
I am depressed go fig it is December... so lets add a med that I have never been on before.(I am the one that has horrible allergic reactions, my list of allergies is longer than my medication list) he picks it by throwing the proverbial dart at the wall... lovely.
then he wants me to go down 150 mgs on my main medicine from 350 to 200. this medicine I have only every gone up or down by 50 mgs at a time.
then he wants me to keep going down on a med that I have been slowly decreasing for 3 months now.
and finally he wants me to drop my anti-psychotic and the side effect med all together.
I am officially scared of this man.
I go back in on Wednesday to beg him not to do this to me the week of Christmas. not to do it period.
is he going to be there when I can't stop puking?????
I call back Thursday. I talk to the director of adult services, my therapist and ANYONE ELSE that will listen.
I don't mind making a couple of changes, going down 50 mgs on my main meds and in 2 weeks to a month dropping 50 more. and going on a med.
but 5 changes at once.... NO!!!!
I get told that he is the doctor and I don't get to pick my meds and that the final decision is up to him.
I tell them that I am the patient, and it is my body. and I have been medicated for 26 years now and I know a little more about me that he does. FOR CHRIST SAKES, I have a SAY in this.
DA finally calls me back, here is the conversation.
"DA says I thought we had come to an agreement.
me, no you came to a agreement.
DA, well I thought that we were going to do it my way, but it seems we are going to do it your way.
me thanks.
DA, YOU need to examine why you are afraid to go off your meds and are not afraid to stay on them..."
what the fuck?
I have been dropping meds for the last 3 months with my last 2 psychiatrists. I am willing to drop my meds in a safe way, so I am not vomiting violently. Drug withdrawal makes you wish you had the flu, or that you were dead.
DA is a prick and he is going to make me pay for this.
I also told him some where in that that 8 years of medical school doesn't make him god.
his reply? only god like.

There is no place else to go for therapy with my insurance, I called everybody.

also this last week I am having extreme pain/bleeding in my pelvic girdle, in sept I had an ablution.
and I am too fat to fit into the cat scan machine, and I am in to much pain to work out...
my GYN is off part of last week and all of this. her advise? the ER.
lets go and sit with all the sick people so I can have a pelvic examine and they can tell me that I need to see my GYN, and they will either give me pain pills or call me a frequent flyer and tell me to get fucked. both options are about the same in my book.
I'm trying to get off meds...



now for this week. I get to do my second half of my deposition for the car accident, where the other driver was at fault.
3 more hrs. I can barely sit for 10 minutes...
I see my PCP (main Dr) and she will be SO much help...
I pee'd for her on Friday. they will get back to me this week about it if I have a bladder infection, (I don't)
then Friday is Christmas... yea!

lets see what am I grateful for so I will stop crying as I write this.

I am alive (still trying to decide if that is a positive)
I have food shelter and people that love me.
I am standing up for myself and not letting the dr's rape me.
which means my life expectancy just improved... (FUCK)

Merry Christmas all, *SIGH*

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Beautiful Snow Moose A must see

Beautiful Snow Moose A must see
You may never see another of these, ever.

These animals were photographed just north of the Wisconsin border on a highway near Marenisco , MI ....

The odds of seeing an albino moose are astronomical and to see this in the upper peninsula of Michigan , near Wisconsin , is even greater

nearly impossible.
We wanted to share these photos with as many people as possible because you will probably never have a chance to see this rare sight again.
This is a really special treat, so enjoy the shots of a lifetime.

Irish Luck

Irish Luck

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day,
while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help
coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog.

There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy,
screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad
from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.

The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse
surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced
himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved.

'I want to repay you,' said the nobleman. 'You saved my son's
'No, I can't accept payment for what I did,' the Scottish farmer
replied waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came
to the door of the family hovel.

'Is that your son?' the nobleman asked.

'Yes,' the farmer replied proudly.

'I'll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of
education my own son will enjoy If the lad is anything like his
father, he'll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of.' And
that he did.

Farmer Fleming's son attended the very best schools and in time,
graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London , and went
on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander
Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.

Years afterward, the same nobleman's son who was saved from the
bog was stricken with pneumonia.
What saved his life this time? Penicillin.

The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill .. His son's

Sir Winston Churchill.

Someone once said: What goes around comes around.

Work like you don't need the money.

Love like you've never been hurt.

Dance like nobody's watching.

Sing like nobody's listening.

Live like it's Heaven on Earth.


May there always be work for your hands to do;

May your purse always hold a coin or two;

May the sun always shine on your windowpane;

May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain;

May the hand of a friend always be near you;

May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.
and may you be in heaven a half hour before the devil knows
you're dead.

my buddy Beth found this story not to be true, you can read about it here:
even if it is fiction it is still a nice story!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Heart Someone


Just wanted to drop a line and let you know that my daughter Lexi has started a new business.

Of course, being Dad I want to spread the word and do everything I can to help her out. And of course, every dollar she earns is one less dollar I spend!

Seriously though, she is working hard to pay college expenses and the idea is super cool.

Lexi's business is www.HeartSomeone.com.

Visit the site and check it out. Heart Someone creates one-of-a-kind, handmade, and personalized greetings shaped like a heart. They can be shipped anywhere in the world!
Also, she ships to military addresses with no shipping fee!

Flowers die and cards get tucked away. These greetings make a HUGE impact and get noticed, remembered, even displayed. When she was buying boxes to ship them in the clerk ordered on on the spot!

Anyway, hope I didn't bother you too much, and if I send this twice you are in two of my e-mail accounts and must love me enough to care, lol!

If you can help out or get the word out on your blogs and such in any way, thanks in advance!

Alan Mizell
Lexi's Proud Dad!


I received this in the email from good friend Alan of WWW.ROBOTNINE.COM

there is also a blog attached to this http://www.heartsomeone.blogspot.com.

I think this is a lovely idea, and the hearts are very nicely done.
I command you gentle reader to go look at her site and the blog.
there are not enough cute sweet things in this world, as far as I am concerned!
love and fishey fishes,

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Stoned Wallabies....

Australian wallabies are eating opium poppies and creating crop circles as they hop around "as high as a kite", a government official has said.
see more by clicking on the title of this post.
Thanks AV...

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Making a baby

Making a baby.

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'

'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'

'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?'

'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat !.

After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'

'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'

'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'

'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.

'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'

'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.

'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'

'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh....equipment?'

'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'


'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'
Mrs. Smith fainted

Friday, December 11, 2009

it just gets better... Man fined $7,500 for smuggling menopause cream

Man fined $7,500 for smuggling menopause cream

By STEVE BRUCE Court Reporter
Wed. Dec 9 - 4:46 AM

A Beaver Bank man has been fined $7,500 for smuggling menopause treatment cream into Canada.

Larry Beaton, who operates Larry Beaton Health Food Products, pleaded guilty Friday in New Brunswick provincial court in Woodstock to a summary charge of evading compliance under the Customs Act.

Mr. Beaton paid a Woodstock woman, Deborah Inman, to pick up packages of the progesterone-laced cream from a mailbox in Houlton, Maine, drive them across the border and ship them to Nova Scotia.

The Canada Border Services Agency caught on to the scheme last Jan. 21 when a guard in Belleville, N.B., found 36 bottles of Aim Renewed Balance body cream inside Ms. Inman’s van.

Aim is an American company that sells nutritional products. Its website features a cream called Aim Renewed Balance that contains natural progesterone and claims to help restore balance between the hormones that cause PMS and menopause.

The sale of progesterone is controlled in Canada under the federal government’s food and drug regulations. Prescriptions are required for human use.

Border agents searched Mr. Beaton’s home at 30 Gilbert St. on Feb. 3, seizing information sheets on progesterone, copies of deposit slips for Ms. Inman, bus receipts from Ms. Inman, packing slips, customer names and order information, commission statements from Aim and bottles of cream.

In pleading guilty, Mr. Beaton admitted that he illegally received 432 bottles or jars of the cream between June 2006 and January 2009. The total value of the product was more than $10,000.

The defence asked for a fine of $5,000, but Chief Judge R. Leslie Jackson accepted the Crown’s request for a $7,500 fine and gave Mr. Beaton six months to pay.

The border agency alleged in earlier court documents that Mr. Beaton and Ms. Inman had been sneaking the cream into the country since January 2005.

Ms. Inman also pleaded guilty Friday to one count of evading compliance under the Customs Act. She’ll be sentenced Jan. 19.

( sbruce@herald.ca)


no comment I can make can do this justice.
One ? though... "Prescriptions are required for human use."

Wednesday, December 9, 2009


When I was a young boy, my father had one of the first telephones in our neighborhood.. I remember the polished, old case fastened to the wall. The shiny receiver hung on the side of the box. I was too little to reach the telephone, but used to listen with fascination when my mother talked to it.

Then I discovered that somewhere inside the wonderful device lived an amazing person. Her name was "Information Please" and there was nothing she did not know. Information Please could supply anyone's number and the correct time.

My personal experience with the genie-in-a-bottle came one day while my mother was visiting a neighbor. Amusing myself at the tool bench in the basement, I whacked my finger with a hammer, the pain was terrible, but there seemed no point in crying because there was no one home to give sympathy.

I walked around the house sucking my throbbing finger, finally arriving at the stairway. The telephone! Quickly, I ran for the footstool in the parlor and dragged it to the landing. Climbing up, I unhooked the receiver in the parlor and held it to my ear.
"Information, please" I said into the
mouthpiece just above my head.

A click or two and a small clear voice spoke into my ear.


"I hurt my finger..." I wailed into the phone, the tears came readily enough
now that I had an audience.

"Isn't your mother home?" came the question.

"Nobody's home but me," I blubbered.

"Are you bleeding?" the voice asked.

I replied. "I hit my finger with the hammer and it hurts."

"Can you open the icebox?" she asked.

I said I could.

"Then chip off a little bit of ice and hold it to your finger," said the voice.

After that, I called "Information Please" for everything.. I asked her for
help with my geography, and she told me where Philadelphia was. She helped me with my math.

She told me my pet chipmunk that I had caught in the park just the day before, would eat fruit and nuts.

Then, there was the time Petey, our pet canary, died. I called,

Information Please," and told her the sad story. She listened, and then said things grownups say to soothe a child. But I was not consoled. I asked her, "Why is it that birds should sing so beautifully and bring joy to all families, only to end up as a heap of feathers on the bottom of a cage?"

She must have sensed my deep concern, for she said quietly, " Wayne , always remember that there are other worlds to sing in."

Somehow I felt better.

Another day I was on the telephone, "Information Please."

"Information," said in the now familiar voice. "How do I spell fix?"
I asked.

All this took place in a small town in the Pacific Northwest . When I was nine years old, we moved across the country to Boston . I missed my friend very much.
"Information Please" belonged in that old wooden box back home and I
somehow never thought of trying the shiny new phone that sat on the table in the hall. As I grew into my teens, the memories of those childhood conversations never really left me..

Often, in moments of doubt and perplexity I would recall the serene sense of security I had then. I appreciated now how patient, understanding, and kind she was to have spent her time on a little boy.

A few years later, on my way west to college, my plane put down in Seattle . I had about a half-hour or so between planes. I spent 15 minutes or so on the phone with my sister, who lived there now. Then without thinking what I was doing, I dialed my hometown operator and said, "Information Please."

Miraculously, I heard the small, clear voice I knew so well.


I hadn't planned this, but I heard myself saying,
"Could you please tell me how to spell fix?"

There was a long pause. Then came the soft spoken answer, "I guess your finger must have healed by now."

I laughed, "So it's really you," I said. "I wonder if you have any
idea how much you meant to me during that time?"

I wonder," she said, "if you know how much your call meant to me.

I never had any children and I used to look forward to your calls."

I told her how often I had thought of her over the years and I asked if I could call her again when I came back to visit my sister.

"Please do", she said. "Just ask for Sally."

Three months later I was back in Seattle .. A different voice answered,

I asked for Sally.

"Are you a friend?" she said.

"Yes, a very old friend," I answered.

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this,"She said. "Sally had been working part time the last few years because she was sick. She died five weeks ago."

Before I could hang up, she said, "
Wait a minute, did you say your name was Wayne ?" "

Yes." I answered.

"Well, Sally left a message for you.
She wrote it down in case you called.
Let me read it to you."

The note said,
"Tell him there are other worlds to sing in.
He'll know what I mean."

I thanked her and hung up. I knew what Sally meant.

Never underestimate the impression you may make on others..

Whose life have you touched today?

A little Respect!

new post idea!!!

thanks to Stories From an Innocent Owner of Mad Cats @http://hbmike2000.blogspot.com

I have a new idea hehehe...
in his latest story he talks about the wild reindeer...

gave me an idea... go read his blog then I will tell you more later after I have done the deed.
I am off to make soup... that is part of this deed.


Monday, December 7, 2009

You like me don't U?

You like me don't you?

Would like it if someone slit my throat or hung me from a long rope?
because I am a member of the LGBT community?
~~~! Killed me?

this man advocates killing gays and lesbians, and I guess that would extend to the Bi Sexual...

who is this man? Beenie Man...
his music is labeled murder music.

"The lyrics to some of his songs have been criticized for inciting the murder of homosexuals, with lyrics such as, "I'm dreaming of a new Jamaica, come to execute all the gays". In "Mi Nah Wallah", he says he would like to cut the throats of all gay men. In "Bad Man Chi Chi Man" the lyric instructs listeners to kill gay deejays, and in "Han Up Deh", the lyric suggests hanging lesbians with a long piece of rope." from Wikipedia

Pepsi company recently is pre-ported to have sponsored his tour of Uganda.

read more here or click on the title of this post



I say boycott the bastard and Pepsi!
America is run by the extreme right wing loonies, that have passed laws so that people that love each other can't get married and have a life together, IF, they are Gay or Lesbian.

Now Pepsi is supposed to of sponsored an ?artist?, that goes to Uganda, where the Ugandan government is trying to instate the death penalty for being gay.

BTW The Advocate is one of my most favorite magazines.they have an on-line magazine at http://www.advocate.com. a very good funny and concise read.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Mammogram results

A woman in her fifties is at home happily jumping unclothed, on her bed and squealing with delight.

Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?"

The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, "I don't care what you think, I just came from having a mammogram, and the doctor says that not only am I healthy, but I have the breasts of an 18 year-old."

The husband replies, "What did he say about your 55-year old ass?"

She replied, "Your name never came up."


Lesson 1:
a Man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident..

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'

'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep.. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'

The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field..

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was..

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!


very funny animals

Friday, December 4, 2009


October, November, and good old December are the worst time of year for me.
my families b-days, my grandmothers death, the last time I was raped, my 20th wedding anniversary(if I had stayed married I would be dead as he would of killed me long before now), and my last suicide attempt that brought me to where I am now.

Yesterday I had a major psychotic break.

I was laughing/crying/vomiting jag for more than 20 minutes. hysterical bone wrenching madness. J was here with me and he was truly frightened. I have never done it in front of him before. it happens from time to time, when a valve in my head breaks and the madness comes out.
like being caught in a tidal force, hysteria crashing all around me.

I have never liked the holidays. I am working with that.
I have been sick now for 2 weeks with an upper respiratory infection, unable to work out. that is driving me mad, other things are going on that I am not allowed to talk about due to a pending law suit.

I swear I am on my last nut then I remember that you have to have a nut first to lose...

The farther out from a incident the easier it gets, (or so they tell me)
Come live in my head for a day then tell me that.
I have done things that I am not proud of.
I have done things that I am proud of.
what now? I keep my head down and keep trudging.
I am not scared of completely losing it.
I am worried about what it will do to those around me.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

2009's First Christmas Joke

2009's First Christmas Joke

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said,
'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on.
'It represents a candle', he said.

'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'

Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'

The man replied, 'These are Carols.'

And So The Christmas Season Begins......

think how far we come!

I'm not sure of "the facts". Eggs were pretty expensive for a time when chickens were more plentiful than people!

This is just overwhelming to think how far we come!

Neat facts. How times have changed!

Show this to your children and/or grandchildren

This will boggle your mind, I know it did mine!
The year is 1909... One hundred years ago.
What a difference a century makes!
Here are some statistics for the Year 1909:
************ ********* ********* ******

The average life expectancy was 47 years.
Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.
Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.
There were only 8,000 cars and only
144 miles of paved roads.
The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.
The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower
The average wage in 1909 was 22 cents per hour.
The average worker made between $200 and $400 per year .
A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year,
A dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.
More than 95 percent of all births took place at HOME. (main reason for the low life expectancy)
Ninety percent of all doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION! Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press and the government as substandard.

Sugar cost four cents a pound.
Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.
Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.
Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.

Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason.

Five leading causes of death were:
1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke

The American flag had 45 stars.

The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was only 30!!!!

Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea had not been invented yet..

There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.

Two out of every 10 adults could not read or write. (better than today's statistics)
Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.

Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores. Back then pharmacists said, "Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health. (Shocking?)
Eighteen percent of households had at least one full-time servant or domestic help.

There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE U.S.A. !

I am now going to forward this to someone else without typing it myself.
From there, it will be sent to others all over the world - all in a matter of seconds!

Try to imagine what it may be like in another 100 years.

look what someone sent me in my email!

sent by a friend:

Once again, I was disqualified from my neighborhoods

"Best Decorated House" contest due to my bad attitude!


SOME pictures just don't NEED a CAPTION !!!!!

happy birthday to all!

The Amazing Cucumber

Subject: The Amazing Cucumber

The Amazing Cucumber

This information was in The New York Times several weeks ago as part of their

"Spotlight on the Home" series that highlighted creative and fanciful ways to solve common problems.

1. Cucumbers contain most of the vitamins you need every day, just one cucumber contains Vitamin B1, Vitamin B2, Vitamin B3, Vitamin B5, Vitamin B6, Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium and Zinc.

2. Feeling tired in the afternoon, put down the caffeinated soda and pick up a cucumber. Cucumbers are a good source of B Vitamins and Carbohydrates that can provide that quick pick-me-up that can last for hours.

3. Tired of your bathroom mirror fogging up after a shower? Try rubbing a cucumber slice along the mirror, it will eliminate the fog and provide a soothing, spa-like fragrance.

4. Are grubs and slugs ruining your planting beds? Place a few slices in a small pie tin and your garden will be free of pests all season long. The chemicals in the cucumber react with the aluminum to give off a scent undetectable to humans but drive garden pests crazy and make them flee the area.

5. Looking for a fast and easy way to remove cellulite before going out or to the pool? Try rubbing a slice or two of cucumbers along your problem area for a few minutes, the phytochemicals in the cucumber cause the collagen in your skin to tighten, firming up the outer layer and reducing the visibility of cellulite. Works great on wrinkles too!!!

6. Want to avoid a hangover or terrible headache? Eat a few cucumber slices before going to bed and wake up refreshed and headache free. Cucumbers contain enough sugar, B vitamins and electrolytes to replenish essential nutrients the body lost, keeping everything in equilibrium, avoiding both a hangover and headache!!

7. Looking to fight off that afternoon or evening snacking binge? Cucumbers have been used for centuries and often used by European trappers, traders and explores for quick meals to thwart off starvation.

8. Have an important meeting or job interview and you realize that you don't have enough time to polish your shoes? Rub a freshly cut cucumber over the shoe, its chemicals will provide a quick and durable shine that not only looks great but also repels water.

9. Out of WD 40 and need to fix a squeaky hinge? Take a cucumber slice and rub it along the problematic hinge, and voila, the squeak is gone!

10. Stressed out and don't have time for massage, facial or visit to the spa? Cut up an entire cucumber and place it in a boiling pot of water, the chemicals and nutrients from the cucumber will react with the boiling water and be released in the steam, creating a soothing, relaxing aroma that has been shown to reduce stress in new mothers and college students during final exams.

11. Just finish a business lunch and realize you don't have gum or mints? Take a slice of cucumber and press it to the roof of your mouth with your tongue for 30 seconds to eliminate bad breath, the phytochemcials will kill the bacteria in your mouth responsible for causing bad breath.

12. Looking for a 'green' way to clean your faucets, sinks or stainless steel? Take a slice of cucumber and rub it on the surface you want to clean, not only will it remove years of tarnish and bring back the shine, but is won't leave streaks and won't harm you fingers or fingernails while you clean.

13. Using a pen and made a mistake? Take the outside of the cucumber and slowly use it to erase the pen writing, also works great on crayons and markers that the kids have used to decorate the walls!!