Tuesday, July 28, 2009

OMG... WTF!!!!

Lawrence, Kansas

A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house.

The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel chain and collar.

2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.

3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.

4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.

5. The wet ground would complete the circuit , thus causing the phone to ring.

Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.

Thought you'd like to know!



Thursday, July 23, 2009


or Methy for short. I have had him for 4 1/2 weeks, and he is still living.

him needed hair cut as I am making cooling water. so he got snippeded.

recipe for water:How to Make Sassy Water

# 2 Quarts of water
# 12 Mint leaves
# 1 Cucumber peeled and sliced thin
# 1 teaspoon of grated ginger
# 1 Lemon sliced thin

1. Fill up a container with 2 quarts of water.
2. Break off 12 mint leaves and place into the water.
3. Thoroughly wash the lemon rind. Slice very thin and add to water.
4. Peel the cucumber, slice really thin, and add it to the water.
5. Grate the ginger root on the fine section of your grater. Add to the water.
6. Put the water in the refrigerator and let it get cold. Overnight is recommended.

IVilliage and prevention in my email are mostly a pain, ONCE in a very short while I get something like this

I recommend fresh and organic as possible, and purified water.

Note it get stronger as it sits even with all of the matter strained out.
it is a great thirst quencher and great on a hot day.
you can add any thing you want
so lemon and cucumber and basil this time
basil is a great anti microbial
J and I are having tummy troubles this day so tomorrow we wont!

my advise try things you like.
later all

Latest in senior wear!

when I grow up I want to be an old person!
enjoy gentle reader!

Mental health day

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't
mean they don't love you with all they have.
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while
they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped
into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled
him out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she
immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now
considered her to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the
news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is
you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a
crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have
concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is Ralph
hung himself in the bathroom with his bath robe belt right after you
saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon
can I go home?"

Happy Mental Health day!

You can do your bit by remembering to blog for all of my unstable

I just DID!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

I command you!!!


Quark Expeditions is sending a blogger on a trip to Antarctica. This is probably not possible for me unless I can be chosen to be their blogger, and that means I need the most people voting for me to go.

The person with the most votes goes and the leader seems to have only 1,900 so far. PLEASE go to the link and do the simple registration and vote for me!

Put Alan Around The World truly AROUND the world. Put me on top of the world by sending me to the bottom of the world!

For my friends I promise every detail will be blogged and photos galore. For those not so fond of me (are there any?) this is your chance to stick me where the sun don't shine. (Well, it does, actually, but it still sounds funny!)

Please visit Quark Expeditions and vote NOW!!!

If you possibly could help spread the word to your friends that would be even better!!!

If I send this to you a couple of times I apologize, I have three e-mail accounts with overlap.



I COMMAND you to do this!!!

okay? he is a great guy and he if off on his Bucket list tour of the world.

seriously if you have a minute(and I know you do if you are reading this) vote for my friend Alan!

Monday, July 20, 2009

A Well-Planned Retirement

A Well-Planned Retirement - From The London Times:

Outside the Bristol Zoo, in England , there is a parking

lot for 150 cars and 8 coaches, or buses.

It was manned by a very pleasant attendant with a

ticket machine charging cars £1 (about $1.40) and

coaches £5 (about $7).

This parking attendant worked there solid for all of 25

years. Then, one day, he just didn't turn up for work.

"Oh well", said Bristol Zoo Management - "we'd better

phone up the City Council and get them to send a new

parking attendant . . . "

"Err . . . no", said the Council, "that parking lot is your


"Err . . . no", said Bristol Zoo Management, "the

attendant was employed by the City Council, wasn't


"Err . . . no!" insisted the Council.

Sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain

(presumably), is a man who had been taking the

parking lot fees, estimated at £400 (about $560) per

day at Bristol Zoo for the last 25 years. Assuming 7

days a week, this amounts to just over £3.6 million

($7 million - or $280,000 every year for 25 years)!

And no one even knows his name.

Extra note -- Somewhere along the line you would think
that someone would wonder were the money is going!

Ais for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won't float!
Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead.


A's for arthritis;

B's the bad back,
C's the chest pains,
Perhaps car-d-iac?

D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.

H. High blood pressure--I'd rather it low;
I. For incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!

P for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
Just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.

S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T is for Tinnitus; bells in my ears!
U is for urinary; troubles with flow;
V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know.

W for worry, NOW what's going 'round?
X is for X ray, and what might be found.
Yf or another year I'm left here behind,
Z is for zest I still have-- in my mind.

I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,
And I'm keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!!!


Sunday, July 19, 2009

this is what I spent doing Friday and Saturday I did the 2 on the outside Friday and Saturday the one in the middle. My friend wants at least 2 more.

I had to take a couple of days off.

My pain is up, and I am going to have a procedure in the next couple of weeks, on my female parts due to excessive bleeding.
so I am very tired due to blood loss.

it's always something, if it wasn't, I would be dead.


I had a ton of fun doing the braids. they take forever to do, still so much fun!


John Hopkins Update - Good article


Cancer Update from Johns Hopkins:

1. Every person has cancer cells in the body. These cancer cells do not show up in the standard tests until they have multiplied to a few billion. When doctors tell cancer patients that there are no more cancer cells in their bodies after treatment, it just means the tests are unable to detect the cancer cells because they have not reached the detectable size.

2. Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a person's lifetime.

3 When the person's immune system is strong the cancer cells will be destroyed and prevented from multiplying and forming tumors.

4. When a person has cancer it indicates the person has multiple nutritional deficiencies. These could be due to genetic, environmental, food and lifestyle factors.

5. To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, changing diet and including supplements will strengthen the immune system.

6. Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly-growing cancer cells and also destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells in the bone marrow, gastrointestinal tract etc, and can cause organ damage, like liver, kidneys, heart, lungs etc.

7. Radiation while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars and damages healthy cells, tissues and organs.

8. Initial treatment with chemotherapy and radiation will often reduce tumor size. However prolonged use of chemotherapy and radiation do not result in more tumor destruction.

9. When the body has too much toxic burden from chemotherapy and radiation the immune system is either compromised or destroyed, hence the person can succumb to various kinds of infections and complications.

10. Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to mutate and become resistant and difficult to destroy. Surgery can also cause cancer cells to spread to other sites.

11. An effective way to battle cancer is to starve the cancer cells by not feeding it with the foods it needs to multiply.


a. Sugar is a cancer-feeder. By cutting off sugar it cuts off one important food supply to the cancer cells. Sugar substitutes like NutraSweet, Equal, Spoonful, etc are made with Aspartame and it is harmful. A better natural substitute would be Manuka honey or molasses but only in very small amounts. Table salt has a chemical added to make it white in color. Better alternative is Bragg's aminos or sea salt.

b. Milk causes the body to produce mucus, especially in the gastro-intestinal tract. Cancer feeds on mucus. By cutting off milk and substituting with unsweetened soy milk cancer cells are being starved.

c. Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment. A meat-based diet is acidic and it is best to eat fish, and a little chicken rather than beef or pork. Meat also contains livestock antibiotics, growth hormones and parasites, which are all harmful, especially to people with cancer.

d. A diet made of 80% fresh vegetables and juice, whole grains, seeds, nuts and a little fruits help put the body into an alkaline environment. About 20% can be from cooked food including beans. Fresh vegetable juices provide live enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach down to cellular levels within 15 minutes to nourish and enhance growth of healthy cells. To obtain live enzymes for building healthy cells try and drink fresh vegetable juice (most vegetables including bean sprouts) and eat some raw vegetables 2 or 3 times a day. Enzymes are destroyed at temperatures of 104 degrees F (40 degrees C).

e. Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high caffeine. Green tea is a better alternative and has cancer fighting properties. Water-best to drink purified water, or filtered, to avoid known toxins and heavy metals in tap water. Distilled water is acidic, avoid it.

12. Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of digestive enzymes. Undigested meat remaining in the intestines becomes putrefied and leads to more toxic buildup.

13. Cancer cell walls have a tough protein covering. By refraining from or eating less meat it frees more enzymes to attack the protein walls of cancer cells and allows the body's killer cells to destroy the cancer cells.

14. Some supplements build up the immune system (IP6, Flor-ssence, Essiac, anti-oxidants, vitamins, minerals, EFAs etc.) to enable the bodies own killer cells to destroy cancer cells. Other supplements like vitamin E are known to cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the body's normal method of disposing of damaged, unwanted, or unneeded cells.

15. Cancer is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit. A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer warrior be a survivor. Anger, un-forgiveness and bitterness put the body into a stressful and acidic environment. Learn to have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax and enjoy life.

16. Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. Exercising daily, and deep breathing help to get more oxygen down to the cellular level. Oxygen therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer cells.

1. No plastic containers in micro.

2. No water bottles in freezer.

3. No plastic wrap in microwave.

Johns Hopkins has recently sent this out in its newsletters. This information is being circulated at Walter Reed Army Medical Center as well. Dioxin chemicals cause cancer, especially breast cancer. Dioxins are highly poisonous to the cells of our bodies. Don't freeze your plastic bottles with water in them as this releases dioxins from the plastic. Recently, Dr. Edward Fujimoto, Wellness Program Manager at Cast le Hospital, was on a TV program to explain this health hazard. He talked about dioxins and how bad they are for us. He said that we should not be heating our food in the microwave using plastic containers. This especially applies to foods that contain fat. He said that the combination of fat, high heat, and plastics releases dioxin into the food and ultimately into the cells of the body. Instead, he recommends using glass, such as Corning Ware, Pyrex or ceramic containers for heating food You get the same results, only without the dioxin. So such things as TV dinners, instant ramen and soups, etc., should be removed from the container and heated in something else. Paper isn't bad but you don't know what is in the paper. It's just safer to use tempered glass, Corning Ware, etc. He reminded us that a while ago some of the fast food restaurants moved away from the foam containers to paper. The dioxin problem is one of the reasons.

Also, he pointed out that plastic wrap, such as Saran, is just as dangerous when placed over foods to be cooked in the microwave. As the food is nuked, the high heat causes poisonous toxins to actually melt out of the plastic wrap and drip into the food. Cover food with a paper towel instead.

Thursday, July 16, 2009


(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm.. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. (See response #1)

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
BIG HUG, and thanks to freedom! I miss you!!!

If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Why, Why, Why
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someonebelieve you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

If people evolved from apes,
why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses
are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

This may be useful to know when grocery shopping

This may be useful to know when grocery shopping, if it's a concern to you:

The whole world is afraid of China-made "black hearted goods".
Can you differentiate which one is made in Taiwan or China ?
If the first 3 digits of the barcode are 690, 691 or 692,
the product is MADE IN CHINA.
471 is Made in Taiwan.
This is our right to know, but the government and related
departments never educate the public, therefore we have to
RESCUE ourselves. Nowadays, Chinese businessmen know
that consumers do not prefer products "MADE IN CHINA ",
so they don't show from which country it is made.

However, you may now refer to the barcode, remember
if the first 3 digits are:

690-692 … MADE IN CHINA
00-09 … USA &CANADA
30-37 … FRANCE
40-44 … GERMANY
47 ... TAIWAN
49 … JAPAN
50 … UK

BUY USA by watching for "0" at the beginning of the number.
We need every boost we can get!

In our current economic situation, every little thing we buy or
do affects someone else and perhaps even their job.

My grandson likes Hershey's candy. It is marked made in Mexico .
I do not buy it any more. my favorite toothpaste Colgate is made
in Mexico now. I have switched to Crest. You have to read the
labels on everything.

This past weekend I was at Kroger. I needed 60W light bulbs and
Bounce dryer sheets. I was in the light bulb aisle and right next to
the GE brand I normally buy was an off brand labeled, “Everyday Value.”
I picked up both types of bulbs and compared the stats - they were the
same except for the price. The GE bulbs were more money than the
Everyday Value brand but the thing that surprised me the most was
the fact that GE was made in MEXICO and the Everyday Value
brand was made in - get ready for this - the USA in a company in
Cleveland, Ohio.

So throw out the myth that you cannot find products you use every
day that are made right here in the USA.
So on to another aisle - Bounce Dryer Sheets....yep, you guessed it,
Bounce cost more money and is made in Canada. The Everyday Value
brand was less money and MADE IN THE USA! I did laundry yesterday
and the dryer sheets performed just like the Bounce Free I have been
using for years and at almost half the price!
So my challenge to you is to start reading the labels when you shop
for everyday things and see what you can find that is made in the
USA – the job you save may be your own or your neighbors!

If you accept the challenge, pass this on to others
so we can all startF&P buying American, one light bulb
at a time! Stop buying from China ...........
(We should have awakened to this a decade ago......)

Let's get with the program.... help our fellow Americans keep
their jobs and create more jobs here in the good ole USA!!!

Now this was passed on to me by my politically minded other half.
I don't always agree with everything and sometimes I just sit and roll my eyes.
this I agree with I already have to check items for ingredients, this is not much more work.
I like it so there.

Monday, July 13, 2009