Sunday, August 30, 2009

Saturday, August 29, 2009

my other halfs mother sent him this, she must have a sense of humor!


1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION .
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4.. My mother taught me LOGIC .
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT ..
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY .
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10.. My mother taught me about STAMINA .
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY .
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY .
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE .
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP .
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR .
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS .
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM .
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE .
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

I love cats! Get your mind out of the gutter!

just seeing if ya were paying attention...

How do they get cats to sit still for this?

Don't even want to know... nice tie placement... EEK!

My GOD I used to know someone just like this...



~Author Unknown~

On the surface of our world right now
There is war, violence, and craziness
And things may seem dark.
But calmly and quietly
At the same time
Something is happening underground.
An inner revolution is taking place
And certain individuals
Are being called to a higher light.
It is a silent revolution
From the inside out
From the ground up.
This is a global co-operation
That has sleeper cells in every nation.
It is a planetary Spiritual Conspiracy.

You won't likely see us on T.V.
You won't read about us in the newspaper.
You won't hear from us on the radio.
We don't seek glory.
We don't wear any uniform.
We come in all shapes and sizes, colors and styles.
We are in every country and culture of the world
In cities big and small, mountains and valleys
In farms and villages, tribes and remote islands.
Most of us work anonymously
Seeking not recognition of name
But profound transformationof life.
Working quietly behind the scenes
You could pass by one of us on the street
And not even notice.
We go undercover
Not concerned for who takes the final credit
But simply that the work gets done.
Many of us may seem to have normal jobs.
But behind the external storefront
Is where the deeper work takes a place.
With the individual and collective power
Of our minds and hearts
We spread passion, knowledge, and joy to all.
Some call us the Conscious Army
As together
We co-create a new world.
Our orders come from the Spiritual Intelligence Agency
Instructing us to drop soft, secret love bombs
when no one is looking.
Poems ~ Hugs ~ Music ~ Photography ~ Smiles ~ Kind words
Movies ~ Meditationand prayer ~ Dance ~ Websites
Social activism~ Blogs ~ Random acts of kindness
We each express ourselves
In our own unique ways
With our own unique gifts and talents.

"Be the change you want to see in the world"
That is the motto that fills our hearts.
We know this is the path to profound transformation.
We know that quietly and humbly
Individually and collectively
We have the power of all the oceans combined.
At first glance our work is not even visible.
It is slow and meticulous
Like the formation of mountains.
And yet with our combined efforts
Entire tectonic plates
Are being shaped and moved for centuries to come.
Love is the religion we come to share
And you don't need to be highly educated
Or have exceptional knowledge to understand it.
Love arises from the intelligence of the heart
Embedded in the timeless evolutionary pulse
Of all living beings.

Be the change you want to see in the world.
Nobody else can do it for you.
Yet don't forget, we are all here supporting you.
We are now recruiting.
Perhaps you will join us
Or already have.
For in this spiritual conspiracy
All are welcome, and all are loved.
The door is always open.

the Cave Troll

now you may of heard me mention him, he is like the little brother who will talk to me.

now I have been known to order him things like the magazine OUT, (which he gives to me and I just adore it, as I have a subscription to THE ADVOCATE, which I also love, CHECK THEM OUT, the are well written and thought provoking, unless ya are a homophobic, then why do you come to my blog? you small minded piece of crap...?)

I also order him men underwear catalogs, with guys with big junk, that you can really see.

he isn't homophobic, he just doesn't like other mens penises, or guys hitting on him...(remember good old "Mr Rogers" not the TV one (you perve) the old man that lived ion our building who thought CT was HOT, he would walk down the hall in his best falsetto, sing "I'm pretty and witty and GAY!!!" giving CT smoldering looks.

he doesn't care what they do as long as they leave him out, he really does like girl on girl action, (BUT WHO DOESN"T????)

so I just ordered him 1 year of "Elegant Bride"

***Congratulations! $10.00 in e-Rewards Currency has been redeemed for your Elegant Bride (English language, one-year subscription). We hope you enjoy your selection. Your Reward confirmation will be sent to you by e-mail with instructions on how to redeem this Reward.***

It should go nicely with the Playboy subscription that he has ordered for himself, for some reason and not my fault he is also getting Martha Stewart Living...

which begs the ?, what the f*ck are you up to CT???
you are going to be a well rounded young man.
or extremely sore from your periodical use...

I can barely breath, I am laughing so hard...

have a great one gentle readers!

senior moments

thanks to freedom who I thought died in the warehouse it had been so long!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

My take on today!

I don't feel good!

owie my head!


poke my tummy one more time and I will puke on you!

if that ain't good enuf the see then see yesterday "my take on today"
I'm sick so there!

enjoy gentle reader...