I am also a free agent being disabled and what work I choose to take on is cool. I get done what I am supposed to. I now have the gym added (with a 8lb weight loss in 1 week) woo hooo!
Christmas is rearing it's ugly head, and I make all my presents. I'm totally cool with that no problem....
Problem- I took the job of decorating the common areas of the building that I live in. 4800 sq ft minus the 16 rooms that the 15 men and I live in.(we all have our own rooms.)
the hall ways. the kitchen and bathrooms. room #, curtains, stenciling and murals.
fortunately for now it is room #'s and curtain making, Np.
it is something that I love to do and I am always doing something crafty/arty. but when I get a block, and I am freaking out now as they want to pay my to do art (which I do all the time for free, I have sold a couple of things, my work is good enough, it is just my self esteem)
so I told the owners that when I am done, and they still have to have maintenance paint some more, so I have time... that they can decide when I am done. they have some of my art as presents so that is why they thought of me...
I don't see it as being good enough.
I have a very short attention span, that is why I can sew, fiber arts(crocheting, embroidery, etc)
paint, bead work, silk flowers and anything in between.
so I do allot of things, and very well as I have been doing this stuff since 8yo.
my Grandmother tried as early as 4 to get me started, by 8 I was an old hand at it.
I guess it is fear.
I have only started feeling useful in the last couple of years. and really in the last year.
Just AV's post got me thinking and so that is my ramblings to it.
thanks for reading!