Sunday, March 29, 2009

Redoubt....


Redoubt 15:29 eruption, 3/28/2009.

Picture Date: March 28, 2009 15:51:00 AKDT
Image Creator: Monyahan, Rick ;

we had a light dusting of ash yesterday,
air quality is at 20, but advisories are in affect as driving and other disturbances may make air quality worse in some areas.

Just like in 1992 when Mt. Spurr went off and it was not a dusting we were covered. the mayor at the time, Mayor Fink. He put out a press release telling everyone to "drive faster as to dissipate the ash fall". they were having problems with ash clean up.
the picture above shows that light dusting of ash that we got yesterday!

Thanks for reading.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

.....


__________________________________________________________________________________

Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them.
– Dr. Seuss

less than 45 minutes ago!




Photograph of plume from Redoubt's 1:40 pm, March 28 eruption, as captured by Dennis Anderson, from near Homer.

Picture Date: March 28, 2009 13:44:00
Image Creator: Anderson, Dennis;

worried NOW!!

Keep in mind that Mt Redoubt is only about 100 miles south west of where I am as the Raven flies.
YEAH!!!

redoubt latest ACK!!!

2009-03-28 15:25:57
Seismicity over the last 30 minutes has gradually increasing on several stations.

Snow and ash are currently obscuring web camera views of the volcano from AVO's hut camera.

2009-03-28 14:06:46
Another explosive eruption of Redoubt volcano occurred at approximately 13:40 AKDT (21:40 UTC). NWS reports a cloud top of 25,000 ft above sea level.

Snow and ash are currently obscuring web camera views of the volcano from AVO's hut camera.

2009-03-28 13:18:03
Small discrete earthquakes and low level tremor continue. No significant explosions have occurred since 1:20 AM this morning. We have received no reports of ash fall from this event and the ashfall advisory has expired.

Snow and ash are currently obscuring web camera views of the volcano from AVO's hut camera.

2009-03-28 12:21:00
Small discrete earthquakes and low level tremor continue. No significant explosions have occurred since 1:20 AM this morning. We have received no reports of ash fall from this event.

We have recorded one more seismic signal over the last two hours that may reflect a very low level ash emission in the vicinity of the volcano's summit.

See the National Weather Service Redoubt Coordination Page for any ash fall advisories:
http://pafc.arh.noaa.gov/volcano.php

2009-03-28 10:07:14
Small discrete earthquakes and low level tremor continue. No significant explosions have occurred since 1:20 AM this morning. We have received no reports of ash fall from this event.

Over the last ten minutes, we are recording a seismic signal that may reflect a very low level ash emission in the vicinity of the volcano's summit, similar to one observed about 8:30 this morning. It is diminishing in intensity now.


_____________________________________________________________________________________________

This is not good it is getting more active... I could see the lightening from my window last night. it is going to get worse before it gets better.

LOVELY!
*SIGH*

redoubt latest 1f


Photograph of lightning from Redoubt's 1:20 am March 28 eruption, courtesy of Bretwood Higman.

Picture Date: March 28, 2009
Image Creator: Higman, Bretwood;

redoubt latest 1e


Photograph of lightning from Redoubt's 1:20 am March 28 eruption, courtesy of Bretwood Higman.

Picture Date: March 28, 2009
Image Creator: Higman, Bretwood;

redoubt latest 1d


Photograph of lightning from Redoubt's 1:20 am March 28 eruption, courtesy of Bretwood Higman.

Picture Date: March 28, 2009
Image Creator: Higman, Bretwood;

redoubt latest 1c



Picture Date: March 28, 2009
Image Creator: Higman, Bretwood;

redoubt latest 1b


Photograph of lightning from Redoubt's 11:20 pm, March 27, eruption, courtesy of Bretwood Higman.

Picture Date: March 27, 2009
Image Creator: Higman, Bretwood;

redoubt latest 1a


Photograph of lightning from Redoubt's 11:20 pm, March 27 eruption, courtesy of Bretwood Higman.

Picture Date: March 27, 2009
Image Creator: Higman, Bretwood;

redoubt latest


Photograph of lightning from Redoubt's 11:20 pm March 27 eruption, courtesy of Bretwood Higman.

Picture Date: March 27, 2009
Image Creator: Higman, Bretwood;

and oldie! and still funny!

Italian confession


'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'.
The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?'

'Yes, Father, it is.'

'And who was the girl you were with?'
'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation'
Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as
well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?'
'I cannot say.'
'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'
'I'll never tell.'
'Was it Nina Capelli?'
'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'
'Was it Cathy Piriano?'
'My lips are sealed.'
'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?'
'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'

The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire
that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now
for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and
whispers, 'What'd you get?'

'Four months vacation and five good leads.'
_______________________________________________________________________________________



HA!

Still blowing it's top~! Mt. Redoubt

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Ash cloud seen in the geostationary MTSAT data, courtesy of the National Weather Service, processed by the Cooperative Institute for Meteorological Satellite Studies at the University of Wisconsin-Madison . We are at the extreme edge of the view for the satellite which is over the equator in Asia.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Photograph of Redoubt's March 27, 19:25 eruption cloud, as seen from near Homer. Photograph courtesy of Dennis Anderson

____________________________________________________________________________________________

2009-03-27 23:41:15
Another explosive eruption has occurred at Redoubt volcano. This event began at 23:20 AKDT (07:20 UTC). National Weather Service reports an ash cloud height of about 40,000 feet above sea level.

See the National Weather Service Redoubt Coordination Page for any ash fall advisories:
http://pafc.arh.noaa.gov/volcano.php

The Alaska Volcano Observatory continues to monitor the volcano 24 hours a day.

2009-03-27 23:00:59
There has been no eruption since the last explosive event at 19:25 AKDT March 27, 2009 (3:25 UTC March 28). At tht time, an explosive eruption occurred at Redoubt volcano. National Weather Service reports an ash cloud height of about 51,000 feet above sea level.
This follows closely behind the eruption that occurred at approximately 17:35 AKDT (01:35 UTC) that sent ash to an estimated height of 40,000 feet above sea level.

See the National Weather Service Redoubt Coordination Page for any ash fall advisories:
http://pafc.arh.noaa.gov/volcano.php

The Alaska Volcano Observatory continues to monitor the volcano 24 hours a day.

2009-03-27 21:55:58
At 19:25 AKDT March 27, 2009 (3:25 UTC March 28) an explosive eruption occurred at Redoubt volcano. National Weather Service reports an ash cloud height of about 51,000 feet above sea level.
This follows closely behind the eruption that occurred at approximately 17:35 AKDT (01:35 UTC) that sent ash to an estimated height of 40,000 feet above sea level.

See the National Weather Service Redoubt Coordination Page for any ash fall advisories:
http://pafc.arh.noaa.gov/volcano.php

2009-03-27 21:00:59
At 19:25 AKDT March 27, 2009 (3:25 UTC March 28) an explosive eruption occurred at Redoubt volcano. National Weather Service reports an ash cloud height of about 51,000 feet above sea level.
This follows closely behind the eruption that occurred at approximately 17:35 AKDT (01:35 UTC) that sent ash to an estimated height of 40,000 feet above sea level.

See the National Weather Service Redoubt Coordination Page for any ash fall advisories:
http://pafc.arh.noaa.gov/volcano.php

2009-03-27 19:59:13
At 19:25 AKDT March 27, 2009 (3:25 UTC March 28) an explosive eruption occurred at Redoubt volcano. National Weather Service reports an ash cloud height of about 51,000 feet above sea level.
This follows closely behind the eruption that occurred at approximately 17:35 AKDT (01:35 UTC) that sent ash to an estimated height of 40,000 feet above sea level.

______________________________________________________________________________________________
So lovely!!!
and on and on and on it goes. we may not have consistent ash fall that you can see... it snowed today, and still is lightly off and on with mixed rain. ash is in it. things around the building are starting to show a light coating of dust/ash. I can smell and taste it. my skin feels raw. I refilled my inhaler and my lungs hurt!

I am living in the ring of fire.... fine.
Thanks for reading...

Friday, March 27, 2009

be warned~! I have opinions!

hey maybe this isn't your kind of thing, I feel that until all can get married it is a slap in the face, but on the other hand business in this economy is still business.
I subscribe to this site. I subscribe to allot of gay sites. When I leave Alaska(please soon) to move to the lower 48, I will look for a place that has a *large GLBT* group. place with bigger communities of people with these values tend to be more tolerant and open.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
No Bachelorette Parties Allowed




A gay bar seems like the perfect place for a straight girl to have her bachelorette party. They’ll get great music, fabulous cocktails and wall-to-wall hot, sweaty and shirtless boys who run absolutely no risk of putting the moves on them. And the gays should love it too, right? Well what about the fact that the young ladies are celebrating one thing that’s actually denied the rest of the patrons…marriage?

Picture it: a woman in a veil, flashing a diamond engagement ring, surrounded by her best friends who party for hours. Sensing that the scenarios flaunt inequality in the face of gay guests, some Chicago bars have changed their policies to a firm “no bachelorette parties allowed”. One Chicago gay bar, Cocktail, went so far as to publish a written statement about their stance:

“Until same-sex marriage is legal everywhere and same-sex couples are allowed the rights as every heterosexual couple worldwide, we simply do not think it's fair or just for a female bride-to-be to celebrate her upcoming nuptials here at Cocktail. We are entitled to an opinion, this is ours."

Bar owner Geno Zaharakis loves hosting the groups of women but made the decision to exclude bachelorette parties “because not everybody can get married, watching them celebrate, it's such a slap in the face. Prop 8 just reopened the wound." Women are of course still welcome in the bars, the owners just want to avoid any situations that could rub homosexuals faces in the irony.

What do you think? Is barring the bachelorette parties valid and just being sensitive to the feelings of the majority clientèle, or is excluding the women the very same kind of discrimination we are fighting to end?

Source: Chicago Tribune

(Photo: Getty Images)

More and other topics here!:

http://hottopics.gay.com/2009/03/no-bachelorette-parties-allowed-.html

12 questions- by Jesse @ http://theartofjesse.blogspot.com

Jesse, at the art of Jesse, had these 12 ?'s and he answered the and asked for other to answer the ?'s honestly, so these are my answers, check out his sit for his. he is a very talented artist and a great guy!



1. Do I eat meat?

Rarely, I have one of many allergies to meat. beef is the worst for me followed by chicken, turkey, eggs, and then pork. I love fish and seafood. I eat allot of veggies. Some soy but it messes with my body functions.

2. What do I value most?

My life~ for the longest time I did what I could to end it, next time it won't be an attempt.
My friends, all of them! I love them all they are my family. and my partner J. I owe him my life. the nice thing is that is not why I stay with him, I stay cause I love him.
My connection with my Otherness..
the force that runs the universe, and all the things that I see and know.

3. What is my favorite color?

I love all colors, my favorites are blue, purple and currently RED!

4. Who is my favorite artist?

Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.
– Dr. Seuss
he is my favorite and always has been.

5. What do I absolutely hate.

EXperts, dr's, therapists, pharmacies,
smokers, scary people, Meanies.
I am crazy, not stupid, not retarded.
example: I was in the local mental hospital and I am a BIG woman and I was seated on a couch with this other male patient, we were waiting to go to breakfast and he kept going on "your fat, I can't believe how fat you are, you are so fat" after a couple of minutes of this I leaned over and whispered to him, "yes I am, and you know what it is contagious." and then I touched his leg and said "tag" he started to scream, and he wouldn't stop. so I just sat there as they hauled him off to the quiet room for a date with 4 points and IM Thorazine. and all of the time I am just sitting there with a flat affect. waiting for my breakfast. I am working on not taking advantage of those who make themselves fair game.

6. Am I GAY?

I am Bi, I have had a husband and a wife. they left me and when they did they ended up together (two people who deserve each other more I have never known) last ex was a shemale. my current love is very stable, well adjusted and wild in bed. I have never been happier. I just don't believe that one person can fulfill all of another's needs. we have an open relationship (still the other has to agree and can participate if all are willing)

7. Am I working on any art projects for a show?

I don't do shows~! I have volunteer projects, I just finished cross stitching the whole alphabet upper and lower case. they will then be turned into 52 bookmarks for literacy prizes for children that read through our public libraries. I also volunteer as a teacher, teaching 2 classes, one at my therapy place and another at an adult daycare for disabled adults.

8. Where can you see my art and poetry?

on my blog http://adorabibble-robotnine.blogspot.com
there is not only art but musing of my life, my current issue that i am working on, things I find amusing, or irritating, and just general stuff.

9. How can we get Adorabibble to volunteer for your cause?

Well I am in the process of looking into cloning myself, cause I am paper thin and exhausted.

10. What is my favorite drink?

Water, cause it is water but also tea, coffee, juice, or anything else you want it to be. current favorite! water with lime in it.

11. What is my favorite music?

New wave/punk 80's stuff~ to many to list!

12. Who is my favorite friend?

the ones who accept me for who I am and love me anyways!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Redoubt~! another fricken update


SPECIAL WEATHER STATEMENT
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE ANCHORAGE AK
1210 PM AST THU MAR 26 2009

AKZ101-270000-
ANCHORAGE-
INCLUDING...ANCHORAGE...EAGLE RIVER...INDIAN...EKLUTNA
1210 PM AST WED MAR 26 2009

...NO ASHFALL IS EXPECTED IN ANCHORAGE...

LOW LEVEL ASH CLOUDS FROM THIS MORNING'S ERUPTIONS OF MOUNT REDOUBT
ARE TRACKING SOUTHEASTWARD TOWARD THE SOUTHWESTERN KENAI
PENINSULA...WHERE ASHFALL ADVISORIES ARE IN EFFECT THROUGH 4 PM
THIS AFTERNOON. HIGH LEVEL ASH CLOUDS UP ABOVE 30000 FEET ARE
HEADED FOR ANCHORAGE AND WILL AFFECT AVIATION. HOWEVER...ASH AT
THESE LEVELS TYPICALLY WILL NOT FALL TO THE GROUND. THEREFORE...NO
ASHFALL IS EXPECTED IN THE ANCHORAGE AREA.



2009-03-26 13:45:12
Seismicity is still elevated. Partly cloudy Hut webcam views over the last hour show a vigorous plume emitting from the summit of the volcano and trailing south. The webcam also shows fresh lahar deposits on the Drift Glacier. There have been no other large explosions since this morning's large eruption at 9:24AM.

2009-03-26 12:38:35
A large eruption of Redoubt volcano occurred at 09:24 AKDT (17:24 UTC) this morning. National Weather Service reports the cloud height to be at least 65,000 ft above sea level and pilot reports indicated a plume height of 60,000 ft. Since this event, a few smaller events have occurred but these did not generate plumes above about 20,000 feet.

The eruption at 9:24 AKDT also produced a lahar in the Drift River valley that was detected by seismic instruments.

An ashfall advisory is in effect until 4 PM for the western Kenai Peninsula. High level ash (above 30,000 feet) is forecast to pass over Anchorage, but is not expected to produce ash fall. For more information refer to the NWS Redoubt Coordination web page (http://pafc.arh.noaa.gov/volcano.php ) for latest ash cloud information.

AVO is monitoring the situation closely, the observatory is staffed 24/7, and attempts to overfly the volcano will occur as soon as possible. More details on this mornings eruption also will be released on AVO's web page as soon as possible.

2009-03-26 11:36:34
Seismic activity has declined since the eruption at 09:24 AKDT this morning. Additional ash emissions may occur and another large eruption remains possible.

The 09:24 AKDT event produced a mudflow down the Drift River.

An ashfall advisory in in effect until 4 PM this afternoon for the western Kenai Peninsula where up to 1/8 of an inch of ash could accumulate. For more details refer to the NWS Redoubt Coordination web page (http://pafc.arh.noaa.gov/volcano.php ).

2009-03-26 10:54:12
The major explosive event that started at 09:24 AKDT has diminished, though smaller emissions may occur, or a larger event resume.

The 09:24 event produced a lahar down the Drift River.

Refer to the NWS Redoubt Coordination web page (http://pafc.arh.noaa.gov/volcano.php ) for latest cloud information.

2009-03-26 09:38:42
A major explosive event occurred at 09:24 AKDT. National Weather Service reports the cloud height to be at least 65,000 ft above sea level. Refer to the NWS Redoubt Coordination web page (http://pafc.arh.noaa.gov/volcano.php ) for latest cloud information.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So let me explain what this means... I am exhausted. and I had a class to teach, at the same therapy place that I go to just down the hill at another building. I get there about noon...
And everyone is freaking the hell out. GOTTA COVER COMPUTERS, GOTTA TAKE A PERSONAL DAY!, GOTTA ASTHMA??? GOTTA GO HOME!!! CAUSE IT WAS NOON AND ASH IS GOING TO START RAINING AT 1PM....
well I panic, I have asthma, and I hate crowds and am claustrophobic, and I don't like to eat in front of people. I had to have all of my upper teeth pulled in Oct 2007, and due to my TN I can't wear a denture yet. so I am very!! self conscience. So I leave in a panic!
so we go get water and a few things at wal mart, and it is 1pm and I am outside of wal mart and NO ASH is falling that I can see. HINT we have has some ash in the air for the whole time it has been erupting, not much as it blows up and swings north west, but then on the end of its run it circles south and hits us anyway, no much, not really noticeable, but there and I can smell it, and taste it. I have had to use my inhaler, saline tears and antihistamine eye drops. no biggie. I have been in AK now for almost 37 years and this is by no means my first volcano!

I needed a day off. I have a big day and I have to sleep for a week. I don't handle things well, never have. I am just tired and burnt out.
*sigh*
okay fine...

My take on today!


Indian Chief 'Two Eagles' was asked by a white U.S. Government Official, 'You have observed the White man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done.' The Chief nodded in agreement.
> The official continued, 'Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?'
> The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied,

'When white man find land,
Indians running it,
no taxes,
no debt,
plenty buffalo,
plenty beaver,
clean water.
Women did all the work,
Medicine man free.
Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing;
all night having sex.'

Then the chief leaned back and smiled,
'Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that!'
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Off I go into the world today to face the masses!
Total freaking abject terror!
I have my happy face on an a case of killer gas!
I DARE them to mess with me.
I am loaded and ready for action!
Bring it on Thursday!!

(being crazy and disabled, I have more licenses to be a terror than most, actually It is EXPECTED OF ME!)
thanks for reading and hold your breath around me.
I am out doing the cave troll and his dog farts.

thanks for reading,
love and fishy fishes!
Adora!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Mt. Redoubt! update...






Last Activity Report Hide
RSS FEED
AVO/USGS Volcanic Activity Notice

Volcano: Redoubt (CAVW #1103-03-)

Current Volcano Alert Level: WARNING

Current Aviation Color Code: RED

Issued: Wednesday, March 25, 2009, 5:53 AM AKDT (20090325/1353Z)
Source: Alaska Volcano Observatory
Notice Number: 2009/A14
Location: N 60 deg 29 min W 152 deg 44 min
Elevation: 10197 ft (3108 m)
Area: Cook Inlet-South Central Alaska

Volcanic Activity Summary: A small explosion occurred at Redoubt volcano at 05:12 AKDT (1312 UTC). The cloud height is estimated to be about 15,000 ft and is drifting north to northwest of the volcano. The event lasted about 10 minutes.

Recent Observations:
[Volcanic cloud height] 15,000 ft above sea level.
[Other volcanic cloud information] The explosion signal was relatively small, lasting about 10 minutes. It appears to be drifting north-northwest from the volcano.




it is still popping off occasionally! yeah!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Why I hate people (the stupid ones!)


ski boots
Reply to:
Date: 2009-03-24, 4:09PM AKDT


I have a pair of mens size 12 down hill ski boots.
I didn't use them for skiing, they are in good shape? well they look to be.
please leave a number in your response, no number no response!
As is, at your own risk! 10,000 ?'s don't bother. ski boots, FREE!!!!
Thanks!!!!
will not leave outside, hold for a week(I want these gone asap), and don't leave a phone # that you won't answer.
Why is it so hard to give something away?



I posted this ad today on craigslist, in Alaska, Why I still deal with craigslist? most of the time the people I deal with aren't too stupid to live.
well not today!
The ski boots, I had gotten them as I am part owner in a inversion Table. I personally will not get on it. (well I have once) and it scared the shit out of me. and it hurts the top of your feet, and shims, as that is where it is holding on to your when you are on your head...
so my bright idea ... SKI BOOTS!!!
great idea except for the fact that they make you foot to big to fit into the place that holds your feet!
So I am giving them away!
I do that allot, so much so that other people give me nice stuff to find homes for.
Now all of us could take them to one of the charities, that resells things.

(hint I hate those places, Why? when you go in there, and find something brand new in the box never been opened, and the original price is 19.99 and there price is 24.99. or you find say 3 rolls of edging tape (the kind that goes at the molding of the ceiling of a room for decoration) and one is 2. another is 4, and the 3rd is 8.50. and they are all the same except for the price)
when they are a chain store, with corporate hierarchy, and it is all about the money... that I have a huge problem. now there are a # of great charities around, and I rotate through them with good, But the senior center doesn't (in my vast opinion) need ski boots, neither does the womens prison, or the pregnant woman rehab center. so I put them on craigslist. First mistake. then Freedom finds my ad and emails me this:
Uh...can I stop by and try these on? What color are they? Are they
padded? Will you touch my feet for me when I try them on? Or, can I
touch yours? How about you modeling them for me?

Sincerely,
Freedom

I told her that she knew where my feet where and she could touch then anytime she liked, as long as we are in the same state.


Stellar ending to a big FU from the universe today!
I have had one of those days.
they happen now and then to every one of us.
One of those days that makes the rest seem like you have everything figured out.
well hopefully it will be a while before I have another if not I will roll with it. ACK!!!!

thanks for reading....

Monday, March 23, 2009

hA!





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysUjYAi0WcQ


Go there and watch the video!

Picture show!













The rest I am sending to www.robotnine.com so look for them there. (he will get to them he always does!)

funny things! or that is when the fight started...

Oldies but goodies...

I had to laugh, I'm bad.



1.

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.

The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started.....

************************************************************************
2.
My wife walked into the den & asked "What's on the TV?" I replied "Dust".

And that's how the fight started.....

************************************************************************
3.
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,

'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's near perfect.'

And that's how the fight started.....

************************************************************************
4.
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes

from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds. I bought her a scale.

And that's how the fight started.....

************************************************************************
5.
I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.

So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'

And that's when the fight started....

************************************************************************
6.
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'

'No,' she answered.

I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'

So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'

And that's when the fight started....

***********************************************************************
7.
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive. So, I took her to a gas station.

And that's when the fight started.....

************************************************************************
8.
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And that's when the fight started.....

************************************************************************
9.
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And that's when the fight started.....

**************************************************************
10.
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.

You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it. He was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And that's when the fight started.....

************************************************************************
11.
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'

He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'

'Nah, she can order for herself.'

And that's when the fight started......

proof reading gone wrong!

(Proofreading is a dying art, would you say?)



Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.


I just couldn't help but sending this along. Too funny.
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No, really? Ya think?




----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers.....
Now that's taking things a bit far!
-----------------------------------------------------------


Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over......
What a guy!
---------------------------------------------------------------



Miners Refuse to Work after Death......
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
------------------------------------------------------



Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant......
See if that works any better than a fair trial!



----------------------------------------------------------
War Dims Hope for Peace......
I can see where it might have that effect!
----------------------------------------------------------------





If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile.....
Ya think?!





-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures.....
Who would have thought!
----------------------------------------------------------------






Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide.....
They may be on to something!
------------------------------------------------------------------------



Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges.....
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?Oklahoma's new construction program!
----------------------------------------------------------



Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge.....
He probably IS the battery charge!



----------------------------------------------
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group.....
Weren't they fat enough?!



-----------------------------------------------
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft......
That's what he gets for eating those beans!



-------------------------------------------------

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks......
Do they taste like chicken?



****************************************
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half.....
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!



***************************************************


And the winner is...

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead....

Did I read that right?

TRIP TO WAL-MART

This has been around for a while, but I always get a giggle out of it... enjoy!

TRIP TO WAL-MART
Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Manfred, the Wonder Dog, and was in the checkout line when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time; but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. (Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.)

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

Mt. Redoubt has erupted!





2009-03-23 04:37:08
Another large explosion is occurring at Redoubt.

2009-03-23 03:50:00
The eruption of Redoubt volcano continues. Ashfall advisories are available on the National Weather Service site http://pafc.arh.noaa.gov/volcano.php

Ash is still being emitted from the volcano and the National Weather Service Ashfall Advisories will be updated with changing conditions.

2009-03-23 03:07:54
The eruption of Redoubt volcano continues. Ashfall advisories are available on the National Weather Service site http://pafc.arh.noaa.gov/volcano.php.

Ash is still being emitted from the volcano and the National Weather Service Ashfall Advisories will be updated with changing conditions.

2009-03-23 02:04:08
As of 2:00AM March 23, 2009, AVO has recorded FOUR large explosions at Redoubt volcano at the following times:
March 22 10:38PM
March 22 11:02PM
March 23 12:14AM
March 23 01:39AM
The National Weather Service has issued an Ashfall Advisory. Link: http://pafc.arh.noaa.gov/volcano.php

2009-03-23 00:30:12
As of 12:27AM March 23, 2009, AVO has recorded three large explosions at Redoubt volcano at the following times:
March 22 10:38PM
March 22 11:02PM
March 23 00:14AM
The National Weather Service has issued an Ashfall Advisory. Link: http://pafc.arh.noaa.gov/volcano.php

More ...
2009-03-22 23:20:21
Current estimate for eruption cloud height are 50,000 ft above sea level.

2009-03-22 23:05:18
An eruption is occurring. We will post more information as we interpret the data.

2009-03-22 23:02:22
An eruption of Mt. Redoubt began at approximately 22:38 AKDT, March 22, 2009 (0638 UTC). AVO is raising the aviation color code to Red and the alert level to Warning. Initial height of the eruption cloud is estimated at less than 20,000 ft above sea level at present. Further reports will be issued as more information becomes available.

Redoubt Volcano Activity Notifications
RED/WARNING 2009-03-22 23:26:32 - VAN/VONA
The eruption of Mt. Redoubt continues. The height of the eruption cloud is estimated to be 50,000 ft above sea level. Further reports will be issued as more information becomes available.
Complete report text

RED/WARNING 2009-03-22 22:56:25 - VAN/VONA
An eruption of Mt. Redoubt began at approximately 22:38 AKDT, March 22, 2009 (0638 UTC). AVO is raising the aviation color code to Red and the alert level to Warning. Initial height of the eruption cloud is estimated at less than 20,000 ft above sea level at present. Further reports will be issued as more information becomes available.
Complete report text
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

what this means folks is bad! *VERY BAD!!!*

it has been snowing off and on for a couple of days. well what is falling is snow and other, from the smell and my asthma kicking up (we have ash fall starting, how much don't know? we may have gotten lucky)
Check out here also... http://www.adn.com/volcano/story/732796.html

Happy trails campers I'm inside for a bit.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Welcome to CoyotePrime!


Another user has decided to follow my innate ramblings!

this lovely person is CoyotePrime at http://coyoteprime-runningcauseicantfly.blogspot.com/

I have liked what I have read of this blog and as time permits I will do more digging!

So happy trails and and a big Adorabibble WELCOME!!

Hope you like what you find, and find what you like!!!

(You joined on a good day!!! I am in a mood! (which one, has yet to introduce itself, so we all say HI!))


Thanks for reading!

my mood today!



1 picture is worth 1,000,000,000.000,000.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Incredible Story








In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University .

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.


He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.



Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several time s then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.



Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.


Probably wasn't the same elephant.


This is for all of my friends who send those heart-warming stories.

I have been ordered by the FBI!!!

From FBI Director Robert S.Mueller
reply-to kelvinwilliams
to
date Fri, Mar 20, 2009 at 1:03 PM
subject GET BACK TO MR. KELVIN WILLIAMS ONLY (APPROVED BY FBI)..

hide details 1:03 PM (37 minutes ago)


Reply


FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
FBI Headquarters in Washington, D.C.
Federal Bureau of Investigation
J. Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW
Washington, D.C. 20535-0001


Attn: Beneficiary,


This is to Officially inform you that it has come to our notice and we have thoroughly Investigated with the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network System that you are having an illegal Transaction with Impostors claiming to be Prof. Charles C. Soludo of the Central Bank Of Nigeria, Mr. Patrick Aziza, Mr Frank Nweke, none officials of Oceanic Bank, Zenith Banks, Mr. Michell Brown From union bank kelvin Young of HSBC, Ben of Fedex,Ibrahim Sule,Larry Christopher, Puppy Scammers are impostors claiming to be the Federal Bureau Of Investigation. During our Investigation, we noticed that the reason why you
have not received your payment is because you have not fulfilled your Financial Obligation given to you in respect of your Contract/Inheritance Payment.

Therefore, we have contacted the Federal Ministry Of Finance on your behalf and they have brought a solution to your problem by cordinating your payment in total USD$10.5million in an ATM CARD which you can use to withdraw money from any ATM MACHINE CENTER anywhere in the world with a maximum of $10,000 United States Dollars daily. You now have the lawful right to claim your fund in an ATM CARD.

Since the Federal Bureau of Investigation is involved in this transaction, you have to be rest assured for this is 100% risk free it is our duty to protect You. All I want you to do is to contact the ATM CARD CENTER via email for their requirements to proceed and procure your Approval Slip on your behalf which will cost you $225 only and note that your Approval Slip which contains details of the agent who will process your transaction.

CONTACT INFORMATION

NAME: Kelvin Williams

EMAIL: no way!

Do contact Mr. Kelvin Williams of the ATM CARD CENTRE with your details:

FULL NAME:
HOME ADDRESS:
TELL:
CELL:
CURRENT OCCUPATION:
BANK NAME:

So your files would be updated after which he will send the payment informations which you'll use in making payment of $150 via Western Union Money Transfer or Money Gram Transfer for the procurement of your Approval Slip after which the delivery of your ATM CARD will be effected to your designated home address without any further delay. Please if you know you cannot be able to afford the $225 for the delivery of your ATM card via FedEx then do not bother to contact Mr. Kelvin Williams as we are in the begining of new year and he should be busy with some other things.





We order you to get back to Mr. kelvin williams Only right away.

FBI Director Robert S.Mueller III.

Note: Do disregard any email you get from any impostors or offices claiming to be in possesion of your ATM CARD, you are hereby adviced only to be in contact with Mr. Kelvin Williams of the ATM CARD CENTRE who is the rightful person to deal with in regards to your ATM CARD PAYMENT and forward any emails you get from impostors to Mr. Kelvin williams so we could act upon and commence investigation.

THIS IS FBI SECURITY ALERT EMAIL DO NOT REPLY TO THIS EMAIL FOR SECURITY REASON.

GET BACK TO MR. KELVIN WILLIAMS ONLY.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I didn't correct ANY of the spelling so you could see it in all of it's goodness.
The scam used to be: send us money and we will give you butt loads of money.
The scam is now: you were defrauded of your 200-500 dollars and for that same amount, if you send it again to us, we have caught the criminals and will give you your REAL inheritance, from some one you have never ever met.... AND if you don't have the money then don't bother us as we have butt loads of money to give to everyone else. WE ARE NOT IMPOSTER'S! WE ORDER YOU!!!!



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

I can see them now on Americas dumbest criminals, or the Darwin award winners.

Seriously, these people and people like them have hurt allot of.... people. I can't seem to find the words, maybe the one's that believe in "magic pills, televangelists, and that Bush was great president, and if we could just get that monkey out of the white house we will have the American dream again."
I don't think Obama is a monkey, I think he is a man that is trying to do an impossible job, a good man, but still a man.

There is no American dream, just the nightmare, that people lose there homes, jobs, and families,
for big oil and a stupid war that we have no business being in.

People will say anything for money. we are not one of them and they HAVE to take care of there own.
the truth is we are all in this together. as Alan of www.robotnine.com has posted a couple of times this week:


Once again the best thought to sum this up is the writing of Carl Sagan describing our magnificent planet as a Pale Blue Dot.


"That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar", every "supreme leader", every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there - on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam."

I love this quote most of all as it puts it all in perspective for me!



Note: THESE ARE MY OPINIONS ONLY!!!!, JUST CAUSE I INCLUDED SOMETHING THAT ALAN POSTED, DOES NOT INCLUDE HIM IN THIS OPINION, ALL HATE MAIL GOES TO ME!!!!!!!



So gentle reader Thanks!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Junk mail a month give away!

every month from last month I give away a piece of my junk mail, Lat month's was the enhancer patch!
the lucky winner of lasts months junk mail a month, was Alan of www.robotnine.com
By default, he was the only one who applied, Thanks for playing Alan~!

This months while not bad porn, has cartoons of old people who have lost there memory and mind. and the supplement PS- the ultimate brain food. will help you deal with senior moments, or CRS! as we call it here (Can't Remember Shit!) Cause 'memory loss is no laughing matter!'" this is my Husband... his name is A B C D....." and "Harold, why are your tennis shoes in the freezer?"

email me and let me know where to send it, Due to international shipping rates, it may vary where I can send it, we will see who applies!

Thanks for reading!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

ewwwwwwwww!




yeah! sign me up for this procedure.
Finally I will be able to get my lips around that tail pipe.
What talent!

hey check this out!

http://m.flickr.com/#/photos/36464234@N08/3357233883/


too funny!

why I love british Humor

Thanks to Freedom, who has as warped as a sense of humor as I do. I miss ya buddy!



SMART ARSED ANSWERS 2007

The last one is a worthy winner.


6th Place

It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:

'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.

'What are my choices?' the man asked.

'Yes or no,' she replied.





5th Place

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.

As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.

Without blinking an eyelid she said,

'Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.'






4th Place

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury's but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a passing assistant, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'

The assistant replied, ' I'm afraid not, they're dead.'






3rd Place

The policeman got out of his car and approached the boy racer he stopped for speeding.

'I've been waiting for you all day,' the bobby said.

The kid replied, 'Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.'

When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.








2nd Place

A lorry driver was driving along on a country road.

A sign came up that read ' Low Bridge Ahead.'

Before he realized it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it.

Cars are backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car comes up.

The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry's cab

and said to the driver,

'Got stuck, eh?'

The lorry driver said, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!'









SMART ARSED ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2007
'WINNER'


A teacher at a police training college reminded her pupils of tomorrow's final exam.

'Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.

I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'


A smart-arsed guy at the back of the room raised his hand and asked,


'What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?'

The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering.

When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said,



'Well, I suppose you'd have to write with your other hand'.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

How many marbles do you have left?

I received this in my mail today. And I thought "how timely?"


Enjoy, I did!


The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday mornings.
Perhaps it's the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise, or
maybe it's the unbounded joy of not having to be at work. Either way, the first
few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable.

A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the garage with a
steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other. What
began as a typical Saturday morning turned into one of those lessons that life
seems to hand you from time to time. Let me tell you about it:

I turned the dial up into the phone portion of the band on
my ham radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning swap net. Along the way, I
came across an older sounding chap, with a tremendous signal and a golden voice.
You know the kind; he sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business. He
was telling whom-ever he was talking with something about 'a thousand marbles.'
I was intrigued and stopped to listen to what he had to say--

'Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you're busy with your job.
I'm sure they pay you well but it's a shame you have to be away from home and
your family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or
seventy hours a week to make ends meet. It's too bad you missed your daughter's
'dance recital' he continued.'Let me tell you something that has helped me keep
my own priorities.' And that's when he began to explain his theory of a
'thousand marbles.'
'You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic.
The average person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and
some live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years.
'Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with
3900, which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their
entire lifetime. Now, stick with me, Tom, I'm getting to the important part.
It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about
all this in any detail', he went on, 'and by that time I had lived through over
twenty-eight hundred Saturdays.' 'I got to thinking that if I lived to be
seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy. So I went to a
toy store and bought every single marble they had. I ended up having to visit
three toy stores to round up 1000 marbles. I took them home and put them inside
a large, clear plastic container right here in the shack next to my gear.'
'Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and
thrown it away. I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on
the really important things in life.
There is nothing like watching your time here on this earth
run out to help get your priorities straight.'

'Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign-off with you and take my
lovely wife out for breakfast. This morning, I took the very last marble out of
the container. I figure that if I make it until next Saturday then I have been
given a little extra time. And the one thing we can all use is a little more
time.'

'It was nice to meet you Tom, I hope you spend more time with your family,
and I hope to meet you again here on the band. This is a 75 Year old Man, K9NZQ,
clear and going QRT, good morning!'
You could have heard a pin drop on the band when this fellow
signed off. I guess he gave us all a lot to think about. I had planned to work
on the antenna that morning, and then I was going to meet up with a few hams to
work on the next club newsletter.
Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss.
'C'mon honey, I'm taking you and the kids to breakfast.' 'What brought this on?'
she asked with a smile. 'Oh, nothing special, it's just been a long time since
we spent a Saturday together with the kids. And hey, can we stop at a toy store
while we're out? I need to buy some marbles.


A friend sent this to me, so I to you, my friends.


And so, as one smart bear once said...'If you live to be a
hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live
without you.' - Winnie the Pooh.


Be who you are and say what you feel... because those that
matter... don't mind...

St. Patricks Day!!!!!

Today is my favorite day of the YEAR!!!
I am mostly Irish, and all crazy!
My Grandmother, may the old bat rest in peace, (she and I have regular conversations)
this was one of the few days of the year she was sober. why? to cook the boiled dinner.
My grandmother Irate Irene (as my father called he and she called him chicken legs, when he was in fatigues from the air force looked like he had chicken legs, My father is tall and very thin as I suppose is my brothers, I wouldn't know as it has been years since I have seen any of them and just a few since I stopped talking to all of them. hey if the were going to be my family they would have been from the start. they aren't going to change, and I have no more energy to put towards a black hole. *it is what it is*, that is the way it has always been, and I deserve better, so I have better and no contact, it still hurts sometimes but all I have to do is remember some of my conversations, and *WHAM!* I am fine with my decision)
Grandmother, knew that she was going to die and about when, see she had given up, she starved to death, took her 3 months at a post op weight of 100lbs, and went screaming, whether or not it was a warning scream that she was coming or she didn't like what she saw, is kept with her.
I was very angry with her for along time. they said if she had chose to fight she will still be alive, and still have 20 years, (we live that long, My grandmother called us the cockroach of the Irish) My mother who will be 66 this October, has had Cancer 3 times, and is still kicking and she is 10 years out from the last one, Breast cancer!)
I would explain why I am still alive with all of my issues.
So Irate Irene spent most of her life drunk, and if you met my family you would understand.
she was the best one and still fruit toot loopy!
she would get sober and get out her cooking pot, Huge thing you could put her in it except for her tits. When my mother had her quad mastectomy (they took 1/4th of the Right breast, her tits finally matched at 12lbs each) I am a J cup myself.
So she would get out the pot, and get the brisket, and 4 to 5 heads of cabbage, potato's, carrots, celery, onions, and any turnips, parsnips, and rutabagas, that she could get her hands on. all went into the pot. the she would find huge whole beets. and she would take the tops off and put it in a pan, and steam the whole beet, then she would peel each one and with some salt and pepper, and butter. then the boiled dinner with horseradish, and some of her fresh bread we would make ourselves sick, worse than any Thanksgiving.
it was the last meal she cooked me before she told me on March 17th 1994, when she told me that she was dying and that it was probably cancer, (it was) and that she wanted me out of her life, she cut me off, she told me that she wanted me to remember her the way she was, and not sick and dying.
part of me died that day, the rest on that day in November in 1994, when she took her last breath, screamed her brains out, and died.
From there I went to hell myself.

My grand mother let me see her on a cold day in the beginning of October, she relented, or it was the morphine, she was on a drip, and in diapers and painfully thin, and old and mostly gone. she told me with tears in her eyes that she loved me and that I had to go.
that was the last time I saw her in that body.
I loved her, more than anyone. up until J. she was the love of my life. I don't even love my mother the way i loved her.
She did the best she could to protect me from the rest of the family, if I was crocheting with grand mother then I didn't have to nap with Grandpa!
that rotten bastard molested any kid he could get a hold of.
he was the first man to hurt me.
Grand mother was the one who took care of me after and threatened to kill him if he ever did that again. after that it was minimal, but still enough to want to be as far as humanly possible from that bastard.
She would cry and I would hold her. I would cry and she would hold me.
She taught me how to cook. she taught me how to do all of the arts and crafts that I do. she instilled in me patience for tedious repetitive work.
She was human, and as fucked up as the rest of them.
When I grew up she and I were going to live together, away from the family, and she was going to own a pot belly pig, she loved pigs. and purple cows. and Jack-a-lopes. she loved the fairies that lived in her garden and talked with people that no one else could see.
She and I are very much alike. and very different.
I am breaking the cycle that she was caught in.
she grew up in a different time with different rules.
and the things that her and my grandpa did to there children, and other children, and the children's children, were done to them. they learned these horrible things from generations of there families, My family. My people.
As a result I am the person I am today.
What they all did was wrong. I accept that that was the way it was, and it happened.
I DO NOT APPROVE!
AND, I am not continuing the patterns, the cycle.
I am in therapy, I am working very hard on all of me. I am loved. I love myself.
I have put my gun down. I couldn't understand what that meant when someone told me that.
I was in group today, and we are learning about distress skills.
*radical acceptance* complete acceptance, that is what that means to me.
As I am complete in my acceptance, My life is becoming complete.
Everyone is so amazed at how much better I sound, how much calmer I am.
I am not, I have been here doing the work.
I am nowhere near where I need to be, I do not have it all figured out, I may never.
I am where I need to be now.
I have to be where I am to get where I am going.
it is okay. I am okay. that I can and will enough for now,
Not for tomorrow. But I am still in today.
So here is to my favorite day of the year and to My Grandmother.
I understand now. I don't like it. but I understand.
I miss you more than words can say, and I love you.
Thanks for reading.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

when was the last time you had GAS pains?!?

About an hour ago, I have a pain on my right side under my ribs where my Gallbladder is.
pain is not the word, something in side has ruptured, or I am dying, or something. I can't even breathe in. I am ignoring it and I can't. Rather than run to the ER like an idiot (which I would of been) I called the dr on call. I can barely talk to my info out, the really nice dr. talks to me. I am scared at this point the Hypochondriac is taking over and I am thinking it is my gallbladder. so we talk some and it becomes easier to breath, she said she thought it could be gas, Then I burped, The biggest longest burp of memory, we both start to laugh as the pain is subsiding. she tells me to get some gas-X. I thank her. I get off the phone and call J. he goes to the store and gets me gas-X ice cream and flowers
I have been eating better, more veggies. take last nights dinner. spinach, onions, basil. mushroom ravioli, with olive oil and some cheese and bacon(not much). all throw in one big pan and bake.
lots of fiber both soluble and insoluble. more veggies in my diet mean one thing... PAIN!
So 1 gas-X ultra, 1 pint of ben & jerry's, and several hundred burps later I am going to live.
Hey I am so smart!
thanks for reading!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Gemini


The sign of Gemini, having the symbol of 'The Twins' ( Castor and Pollux), is considered to be the child of the zodiac. Just as his symbol, a Gemini person will always have two different sides to his changeable personality.
They are clever, sharp and intelligent, but may be extremely satirical at times. Most of the Geminis tend to look younger than their age. They are pretty light on their feet, being here one moment and somewhere else the next. They love to throw surprises, especially when they are in love. The duality of Geminis gives them the ability of doing two things at a time. However, routines bore them and make them feel imprisoned. Drudgery and monotony can easily put them off. Punctuality is not one of the Gemini characteristics.
They also prefer to lead an idealist life, in which they try to stay as far away from lies as possible. However, they can be the perfect con artists if they want to be, without ever getting caught.

Since the brain of Gemini is always overworked, (s)he needs more rest and sleep than the other. Highly imaginative, (s)he is always on the look out for something more. The phrase 'Grass is greener on the other side' suits perfectly to a Gemini. (S)He is always seeking the greener pasture, the brighter star and the bluer sky. (S)He is multi-talented, has an exceptionally good sense of humor and is tactful and diplomatic. However, (s)he does lack patience and persistence. Gemini will never tell his/her deepest feeling to anyone and gets bored too quickly.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I am a Gemini! Explains everything.

Friday, March 13, 2009

....

well it has been a full moon.
And they say I am schizophrenic.
I haven't been able to sleep well for days at night when the moon is out in force.
I have a roommate well I have a bunch of them (15 male roommates to be exact)
One of them has skin cancer, The *good* kind the dr said.
Is there a Good Kind of cancer?
Well I talked to him the day after the biopsy, and what I told J. was that he has cancer and this is not a good place to be doing Chemo. this is before the results were back.
he has had a woman following him around wringing her hands.
and only I can see her. well I told him cause she wouldn't leave me alone. I described her to him.
He asked some questions, and a light went on in his eyes and he said AH! and that he had to think about it.
I don't care who she is to him, she has left me the hell alone. that is what i wanted
I have always been able to see things, know things.
and that is why they put me on medication.
they tell me that I am crazy.
I am having problems. can't talk to my dr's they will commit me. I am not crazy.
I am intuitive. I am scared and I am lost.
Wtf now?
there is some one in town that I could see for $225. an hour.
Oh, and I shit gold to... If I had that kind of money I wouldn't live in the frozen north.
I live month to month on disability, (at least i Have that, which is more than most!)
that is 1/4 of my monthly income. and he is going to want to see me for more than an hour!
what now?
what to do!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Why I DO NOT WAX!!!

Why I DO NOT WAX!!!


For those of you who wax, you will understand fully and those who don't will never make this mistake. Better go pee before you read this. This by far is one of the funniest things I have ever read. ~ This is why I shave!! Hope to put a smile on your face: Hair Removal..

(I don't have a clue who wrote this, but WHAT A RIOT!)

All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - the Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. Read on..

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, and play with

the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours:

'Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet.' So I headed to the site

of my demise: the bathroom.

It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.

No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am

mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees.

('Cold wax,' yeah.. Right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. IT WORKS!

Ok, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extra ordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down the inside of my butt cheek (it *was* a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself.... RRRRRRIIIIIIPPPPPP!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!!.....OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out..must stay conscious...must stay conscious.

Do I hear crashing drums???? Breathe, breathe. OK, back to
normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip. There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX????

Slyly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip.. It's not!! I touch. I am touching wax.

I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake... remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.

Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do next and think to myself 'Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!' What can I do to melt the wax?

Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???? *WRONG!!!!!!!*

I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.

Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub..in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had
cemented myself to the porcelain!!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!

I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter 'So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!'

There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, 'are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?'

She's laughing out loud by now... I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.

YEAH!!!! RIGHT!!!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.

While we go through the various solutions, I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better than having your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!!!

By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace..the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!


The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. Its sooo painful, but I really don't care. 'IT WORKS!!!! It works!!!!'

I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder

of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair..THE HAIR IS STILL THERE..ALL OF IT!

So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now.. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color!

5 MINUTE CHOCOLATE MUG CAKE Most dangerous cake recipe in the world





5 MINUTE CHOCOLATE MUG CAKE
Most dangerous cake recipe in the world

5 MINUTE CHOCOLATE MUG CAKE
4 tablespoons flour
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)
A small splash of vanilla extract
1 large microwaveable coffee mug
Add dry ingredients to mug, and mix well.
Add the egg and mix thoroughly.
Pour in the milk and oil and mix well.
Add the chocolate chips (if using)
And vanilla extract, and mix again.
Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes at 1000 watts.
The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don't be alarmed!
Allow to cool a little, and tip out onto a plate if desired.
EAT!
(this can serve 2 if you want to feel slightly more virtuous)
Why it's the most dangerous cake recipe in the world !

Because now we are all only 5 minutes away from
Chocolate cake at any time of the day or night!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

the sea and small children


Primary School Children Writing About The Sea


1) Here is an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)

2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7)

4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)

5) A dolphin breaths through an arsehole on the top of its head. (Billy age 8)

6) My dad goes out in his boat, and comes back with crabs.
(Emily Burniston age 6)

7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans.
(William age 7)

8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)

9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)

10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock... They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)

11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)

12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other.
(Becky age 8)

Sunday, March 8, 2009

mATH, AND SHIT!

This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs. experience.



Here is a little something someone sent to me that is indisputable mathematical logic. It also made me Laugh Out
Loud.



This is a strictly a mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 1617 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 =
98%


and


K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5
= 96%

But ,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5
= 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20
= 103%

AND, look how far a-s-s kissing will take
you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7
= 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that While
Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and
Attitude will get you there, its the B-u-l-l-s-h-i-t and A-s-s kissing
that will put you over the top.



'REMEMBER
SOME PEOPLE ARE
ALIVE SIMPLY
BECAUSE IT IS
ILLEGAL TO
SHOOT THEM'

it's Sunday...




and it is daylight savings....

Saturday, March 7, 2009

I watched The Watchmen!!!!!

it was so cool. I took My guest Nappy (Napoleon Dynamite) from http://napoleondynamitetravelstheworld.blogspot.com

The movie was awesome! (I was the *WEIRD* lady with the doll.!)
I was so excited, that between Nappy and me telling everybody about Nappy and his parka/kuspuk, and being in the theater and everything. by the time we found our seats I had worked myself into an asthma attack! (I have an inhaler which I used) so I was gacked on albuterol, had to take a Klonapin!
So those mean people at the theater wouldn't let me take pictures, on threat of taking my brand new camera! All I wanted was one of Nappy in his seat eating his popcorn, (which by the way he ate his weight in the little piggie! we also shared a sandwich and water, which J. packed so I would get gacked on movie theater food and sugar)(J. didn't go, which was okay he didn't want to put a damper on my joy!)
so the movie was everything I hoped. they did leave out key things in my opinion, but allot of the dialog was from the comic it's self. the ending was what I had a major problem with,
it happened the way it was supposed to, but it didn't.
Just like "V is for Vendetta"
If ya want to know you have to see it. it still worked out but wasn't the comics version.
Now the movie was 165 minutes that is 2:45 minutes long. there is not much more they could of put into the movie without it needing intermission for potty relief.
it was stunning, and Dr. Manhattan penis did have a major role. as did Silk Specters tiny titties( what wonders the wonder-bra does), and Night Owls, and Manhattan's ass too.
very violent, very sexual.
What good Graphic novel isn't?

I was cranky when picked up, fell sleep on the car ride home, and was fussily put down for a nap.
I had a big day and a huge adrenaline rush, and the adrenaline hangover today! that is why Nappy missed the start of the 2009 Idiotrod, (Iditarod- the doggies sled race)
it was slick and crowded and cold.
So Nappy has a date with the cave troll Jeremiah tonight as I am out of commission, at the Alaska wild berry theater to see his 17 year old brother dance around in tights doing the private school's(that his brother goes to) rendition of "a mid summer nights dream".
Jeremiah has Nappy and the new camera! he will bring both of then back safe.
I know this for a fact.
he understands.
and will take care of then as if they were his own nuts, (cause they are)
And no losing or getting wet or leaving behind, of either.
See Jeremiah hasn't had children yet and still wants to!
Seriously, all of my friends are so excited that Nappy is here and they have all offered to help which is awesome as one day out kills me for a bit.
So there you have it.
sorry if I wouldn't give details.
I hate it when someone spoils it for me.

Bottom line read the comic. see the movie. make your own review.
After all that is what life is about? living.
it is not having some one else tell you what you think, feel.
Do your own singing, have your own sex, and live your own life.
It was cool though.
love and fishy fishes,
Adora!