Tuesday, November 10, 2009


1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with
Grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

. Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional
To the stupidity of your act.

. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a
Busy signal and someone always answers.

5. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a
Flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will
Always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time). ALSO AT THE GROCERY STORE THE CHECKER WILL HAVE A BABY AND THERE WILL BE A HOLDUP
7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone

8. Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know
Increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't
Work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional
To the reach.

11. Law of the Theater and football Arena - At any event, the people
Whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last and they are the ones who will leave
Their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the
End of the performance or the game is over while those in the aisle seats come early,
Never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and who stay to the bitter end of
The performance and beyond. The aisle people also are very surly folk. THEY ARE

12. The Starbucks Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your
Boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room,
They will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced peanut butter
Sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness
And cost of the carpet/rug.
15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know
What you are talking about.

16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.

18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find
a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to
The doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment
And you'll stay sick.

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