under penalty of....

these showed up in a chain letter promising doom and gloom if I did not pass these on AND!!!!
I couldn't keep a copy under extreme fear of some mumbo jumbo.( my brain seeping out my ear and losing my nose...)
bottom line you make your own luck, and I liked these.

so remember, read and forget, or you ass will fall off!



ONE.. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. (GASP ya mean ya have to be nice...????)



TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
( as peckers and hearing are the first to go.)


THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want. ( the first two I can see but YOU are not taking my naps away from me!)



FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it. (YEAH!)


FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye. (then just shut up, no BUT... or see it was like this, then it is not an "I'm sorry" it is a lame excuse)



SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married. (no comment~! they are right)



SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight. (yeah but then everyone else has to tell the two of you, that you are in love)



EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much. (the human condition is hard enough, don't be a dick weed)



NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
(and by hurt they mean rip your heart out with a rusty razor blade, the drag it for 40 miles over broken glass, burn it to a singe, shit on it and then they hand it back to you, like a cat that brings you a dead thing with a smile on there face! YEAH!!!)


TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly.. No name calling. (okfine, WHATEVER!)



ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives. (one day you will be the relatives, the scary ones, that take there teeth out and try and kiss you.)



TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly. ( this really helps if you DON'T do it the other way around)




THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?' ( ahhh.. a meddler trap, look Mah I just caught me a meddler!)



FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
( those who risk nothing, have nothing, do nothing, are nothing)



FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze. ( hand them a tissue and remind them to wash there hands and change there underwear)

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson. (and for GOSH sakes be a good loser nobody like a whiner!)



SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions. (and be a grown up about it!)



EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship. (and no injuring your friends!)



NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
(this means I'm sorry!, and no buts, ifs, or whatevers)


TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice (and make sure you smile with your eyes cause they can hear a phony smile!)



TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone. (it is good for you! and it gives the voices time to get to know each other in a calm setting (__*__) )