Monday, February 14, 2011

Three Holy Men & A Bear

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher, and a Rabbi all
served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan
University in Marquette. They would get together two or
three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to

people isn't really all that hard - a real challenge would be

to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they

decided to do an experiment.

They would all go out into the woods, find a bear,

preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experience.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches,

and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.

'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when

I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. But that

bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around.

So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy

Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop

is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next.. He was in a wheelchair, had one

arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-

brimstone oratory, he claimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that

we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I

began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear

wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began

to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN

another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and

BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as

gentle as a lamb.. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus.....Hallelujah!

The priest and the reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who

was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with

IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.

The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, .......circumcision

may not have been the best way to start."

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